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Wed

11

Sep

2024

All Cat and Dog Owners, Beware of Haitian Immigrants

Taylor Swift, the most conspicuous entertainer in the world, has endorsed Kamala Harris for President, https://www.today.com/news/politics/taylor-swift-kamala-harris-endorsement-rcna170548. She did so in a photograph with her favorite cat, Benjamin Button. She signed her endorsement as "Childless Cat Lady” based on a 2021 interview with mindless Tucker Carlson in which J D Vance, Donald Trump’s Loser-in-Chief, said that Democrats are promoting an “antifamily” agenda led by “a bunch of childless cat ladies who are miserablel [in] their own lives and the choices they have made and ... they want to make the rest of the country miserable."
Benjamin Button is highly endangered because in yesterday’s debate between Harris and Trump, Trump said that Haitian immigrants in Springfield, Ohio, are eating cats  (https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c77l28myezko) — an allegation which, like 99% of everything else that Trump says, is manifestly false.
Your solitary reporter has a cat who is more beautiful than Benjamin Button. Because of Trump’s baseless rumor, he has purchased a large cage to keep Marlow inside and safe. (He named Marlow after the narrator in Joseph Conrad’s Heart of Darkness) — a novella in which wretched Congolese in 1899, exploited by European ivory traders, can easily be imagined to be cat-eaters).
In CNN’s instant poll, Harris won by a wide margin, a margin which prefigures Harris’ victory in November. 
Swift told associate solitary reporter Keith Coleman that in endorsing Harris whe is turning the page on the 2004 Swift Boat
for truth which upended John Kerry’s path to the presidency (https://www.nytimes.com/topic/organization/swift-boat-veterans-for-truth). “Given my name and fame, it was the least I could do,” Swift said.
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Sat

06

Jul

2024

Whitmer's The One!

We here at AP blame Biden for his unimpressive debate performance so we are supporting Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer. Very popular in that critical swing state, she should be able to persuade her angry Arab American constituents to come back in the fold. Elected twice, she would agree to run if the delegates to the DNC ask her to. 

Tue

12

Mar

2024

In Today's Hearing in the Judiciary Committee, Hur Fully Established His Republican Credentials

This morning in the District of Columbia, Judiciary Committee Chief Bulldog Jim Jordan (R-Ohio) elicited testimony from former Special Counsel Robert Hur about Joe Biden and whatever Uncle Joe did or did not do with classified documents after he was no longer Vice President.

 

Jordan is well known as one of Donald Trump’s chief sycophants.

 

The entirety of today ’s testimony was observed by associate solitary reporter Keith Coleman, who has served as a Democratic Party operative for the entirety of his career. As such, Coleman has been entrusted with exposing all forms of Republican hypocrisy, because it is a truth universally acknowledged that today’s Republicans have one goal and one goal only, which is to remind MAGA voters that they are entirely subservient to the wishes of Mr Trump, but that they should recant and vote en masse for Democrats, especially Biden.

 

The members of the Committee and, in particular, Rep. Adam Schiff, a leading Democratic candidate for the Senate, took pains to praise Hur’s immigrant background. In his testimony, Hur spoke carefully, staying closely to his self-imposed script. 

 

During a break in the testimony, out of the hearing of Jordan or Schiff, as well as everyone else in the hearing room, Hur told Coleman that Trump has promised him that, if elected in November, he will nominate him to be Ambassador to South Korea with instructions to cozy up to Kim Jong-un and walk with Kim several miles into North Korea and invite Kim to do whatever he would like to South Korea at his earliest opportunity.

Tue

05

Mar

2024

Today's Pro-Trump SCOTUS Ruling Fully Explained

 

Last year, former Colorado State Senator Norma Anderson and other prominent Republicans sued Colorado Secretary of State Jena Griswold, demanding that she not allow Donald Trump, an avowed insurrectionist, to remain on the Colorado primary ballot. The Supreme Court of Colorado held that Trump could not legitimately qualify to be on the Colorado primary ballot under Section Three of the Fourteenth Amendment — the first court to do so. Trump, a man who is the most litigious occupant of the White House, ever, is not only belligerent, but has distinguished himself as the most mendacious occupant of the White House, ever.

 

Colorado is part of Super Tuesday, so SCOTUS accelerated its briefing schedule so that its decision against Griswold would be made public today rather than on Super Tuesday (tomorrow).

 

Griswold is a friend of your solitary reporter, and she is widely expected to run for Governor after Gov. Jared Polis, a Libertarian Democrat, leaves office in 2027. The political cognoscenti expect that Griswold and Attorney General Phil Weiser will be primary opponents, posing a difficulty for your solitary reporter.

 

Your solitary reporter and his wife, retired Colorado Supreme Court Chief Justice Mary Mullarkey, welcomed Griswold to their Park Hill home when she was running for Secretary of State in 2018. On that occasion Griswold knocked the socks off everyone in attendance. 

 

The one-pager released today, authored by Justice Amy Coney Barrett, and whose confirmation was rushed through the Senate through the bad offices of Leader Mitch McConnell, chastised the court’s liberal minority (Justices Sotomayor, Kagan, and Jackson) in sarcastic language — language which Chief Justice John Roberts loathes in SCOTUS decisions, because the Chief Justice is devoted to preserving the image of his Court — especially since the integrity of the Court has been challenged after Justice Clarence Thomas, whose wife is a Republican activist, accepted an RV provided to him by a wealthy Republican, only Thomas didn’t include that in his required disclosure statement. See https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clarence_Thomas, “Nondisclosure of Finances.”

 

It was "Moscow Mitch” McConnell, who is Senate Minority Leader through the end of this calendar year, who arranged for Barrett to be nominated to the Supreme Court after Donald Trump nominated Neil Gorsuch, a Republican, to the Court after the unexpected death of Justice Antonin Scalia, a brilliant but far-right Justice, and Justice Brett Kavanagh, Trump’s second SCOTUS nominee. President Obama had nominated Judge Merrick Garland to the Court, but McConnell, the longest serving Republican Leader in the Senate, refused to grant Garland a hearing. This was most hypocritical on McConnell’s part, because his goal all along, together with Federalist Society Republican activist Leonard Leo, had been vetting conservative SCOTUS candidates for many years. 

 

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Sat

02

Mar

2024

Garland Indicts McConnell

Triple-chin Mitch McConnell, 82, announced yesterday that by the end of this presidential election year, he will no longer be Senate Minority Leader.
It was portentous Mitch who blocked President Obama’s nomination to the Supreme Court of then Judge Merrick Garland, refusing to accord Garland a hearing in his Senate, after far-right Justice Antonin Scalia died in 2016.
Which is why it was associate solitary reporter Keith Coleman who wrote in the WaPo today that Attorney General Garland has convened a grand jury, which was established to indict McConnell for having been the major force behind Donald Trump’s successful nominations of three right-leaning Judges to the Supreme Court so that  Roe v. Wade could be overruled.
“That was not only an injudicious act,” Garland told Coleman, “it was politics at its worse.”
Asked to comment, Chief Justice John Roberts, a masterful judicial politician, smiled and said, “What goes around comes around.”
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