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Trump's DHS Secretary Prepares for Putin's Takeover of Whatever Trump Can't Figure Out

In 1966, in his first film role, Alan Arkin solved all problems between the Soviet Union and the United States in The Russians Are Coming, The Russians Are Coming.


Donald Trump’s Homeland Security Secretary, Kirstjen Nielsen, supposedly a national security expert, and who used to be White House Chief of Staff General John Kelly’s Deputy Chief of Staff at the White House, said in a congressional hearing not so long ago that she was unaware of the intelligence community's unanimous conclusion that Russia did its utmost to undermine our democracy in 2016 (


Vladimir Putin didn’t like Hillary Clinton, but he clearly wanted Trump to win the 2016 presidential election.


It’s also clear that Putin and his well-trusted band of hackers insist on disrupting our mid-term elections this year.


The well-developed plan of Putin & Co. is, essentially, to undermine our democracy without nuking us.


That’s because Putin, who actually, unlike Trump, knows what he wants and how to get it, is playing Trump for a dumb s___.


So is Kim Jong-un, by the way (


Trump knows he’s gonna lose the mid-terms bigtime, so his loudest and least-qualified mouthpiece, Rudy Giuliani, who thinks he knows everything and that he can do everything, is trying to get Special Counsel Robert Mueller III to finish up his investigation into Russian collusion with the 2016 Trump campaign, quick-quick (


Moments ago, associate solitary reporter Johanna Jones spoke with the third Mrs. Trump.


“I miss Slovenia so very much,” Melania said. “And what’s his name just appointed me as his Ambassadress to my homeland.”


“I’m taking Barron with me. Byebye.”


Jones also asked Trump, shortly before he threw her onto the White House lawn for the fifteenth time, when he plans to resign. That was right after Trump told Jones that the fourth Mrs. Trump will be Karen McDougal.






Why Trump Loves to Hate His Own FBI; Colorado's Leading Republican Gubernatorial Candidate Caught in a Little White Lie

Never one to avoid an opportunity to lambast his own FBI (he hasn’t the faintest idea about the presumed independence of the people who office in the J. Edgar Hoover Building on Pennsylvania Avenue), Donald Trump is now p’d at them for sending an informant to multiple campaigns in 2016 (;


“If the FBI or DOJ was infiltrating a campaign for the benefit of another campaign, that is a really big deal,” he wrote on Twitter (where else?).


On Friday night, the Times reported that an unnamed FBI informant talked to two campaign advisers who allegedly had suspicious contacts with individuals linked to Russia.


The Times did not name the informant, but described the person as an “American academic who teaches in Britain” and who made contact with Trump foreign policy advisers George Papadopoulos and Carter Page.


It is very unclear to associate solitary reporter Susanna Sherman how much longer FBI Director Christopher Wray will last.


Elsewhere, the third Mrs. Trump has left the hospital, but, according to associate solitary reporter Johanna Jones, she is not at all happy being back in the White House (who would be?).


In the Centennial State, Colorado’s Republican State Treasurer, Walker Stapleton, told a white lie when he said that he “… was the only [state] treasurer in the country with the courage to support Donald Trump’s tax cuts”, as reported in The Colorado Independent  (




Walker Stapleton is one of 31 Republican state treasurers across the country, and many of them supported Trump’s benefit-the-rich tax plan (


Stapleton is part of the Bush political dynasty, he has a lot of money, he’s overweight, and he’s the front runner in Colorado’s GOP primary on June 26.


Stapleton had the temerity to defeat Colorado State Treasurer Cary Kennedy when she ran for reelection in 2010.


It’s going to be a rematch, Kennedy vs. Stapleton, in November, because Kennedy will win the four-way Democratic primary for governor, on June 26.


She is the only candidate for governor on the Democratic side with nine years of executive experience in government in Colorado.


In January 2019, she'll be sworn in as Colorado's first woman governor, along with Secretary of State Jena Griswold, Attorney General Phil Weiser, and State Treasurer Dave Young.


And Denver's Congresswoman and the Dean of the Colorado delegation, Diana DeGette, will easily defeat her Republican challenger after she survives a nasty primary challenge.






Huckabee Sanders: Mueller Won't Indict Trump, but One of Mueller's Top Lawyers Knows Otherwise

The current occupant of the White House is a totally unscrupulous politician, and, thus, high-quality newspapers have very special obligations during these very interesting times.


And we here at AP accept that responsibility.


Donald Trump’s loudmouth lawyer, Rudy Giuliani, has been in regular contact with the office of Special Counsel Robert Mueller, according to an article in yesterday’s New York Times by Michael Schmidt, Maggie Haberman, and Charlie Savage.


Rudy Giuliani is a prince of grandiosity, and his client, Donald Trump, is an emperor of grandiosity. Both men thrive on being the center of attention. Trump, especially, requires constant adulation, which is why he so frequently indulges himself in his deplorable campaign-style rallies.


Yesterday’s article in the Times says that “… Mueller… will not indict Trump if he finds wrongdoing in his investigation of Trump campaign links to Russia, according to Trump’s lawyers. They [Trump’s lawyers] said Wednesday that Mr. Mueller’s investigators told them that he would adhere to the Justice Department’s view that the Constitution bars prosecuting sitting presidents."


But, what about the concept, deeply ingrained in the American legal system, that no person is above the law? No problem there. Trump's previous lawyer, John Dowd, says that the president of the United States is simply too busy to be bothered with an interview under oath conducted by the Special Counsel.


Associate solitary reporter Susanna Sherman has many years under her belt of finding the truth because of her highly developed investigative skills. Her secret sources trust her at all times.


Early this morning, Sherman spoke at length with Zainab Ahmad, one of the key members of Mueller’s team. Before being reassigned to the Special Counsel, Ahmad, a Pakistani-American no less, served as an Assistant United States Attorney In Brooklyn, where she successfully prosecuted several high-profile cases.


Ahmad told Sherman, “Susanna, Giuliani is really good at making headlines for the media, just like his client.”


“Believe me, Susanna, we’ve got the goods on Trump. I only have a precious few minutes to talk with you, because I’m on my way to the grand jury room. We are getting ready to indict Trump for obstruction of justice and for colluding with Russia.”


So ASR Sherman, who has credentials as a member of the White House press Corps, went straight to Sarah Huckabee Sanders, Trump’s mouthpiece, and, in a private conversation while Sanders was wearing one of her frumpiest dresses, demanded to know the Mar-a-Lago guy’s reaction to what Ahmad had told her.


Huckabee Sanders, who is not petite, immediately pulled Sherman’s White House Press Corps credentials and bodily threw her out of her office.






SCOTUS OKs Sports Gambling While Failing to Note the Huge Gamble Voters Took in 2016; Commerce Sec'y Quits Over ZTE Scandal; Missouri Gov Gets Free Pass

In a decision released yesterday, one of Bush Two’s SCOTUS nominees, Justice Samuel Alito, ruled in Murphy, Governor of New Jersey v. National Collegiate Athletic Ass’n that states are free to legalize sports gambling, striking down a 1992 federal law that had prohibited most states from authorizing sports betting.


New Jersey Democratic Gov. Phil Murphy’s predecessor, Loudmouth Fatboy “Tell It Like It Is" Chris Christie, brought the suit while he was still the gobernator of the Garden State and running for president.


The vote was 6-3, with Justices RBG and Sotomayor dissenting, and with Justice Breyer dissenting in part ( 


However, the Court made no comments on the gamble which Trump voters took on November 8, 2016. Associate solitary reporter Susanna Sherman held a press conference outside the Court in which she strenuously chided the Court for its harmful omission.


Elsewhere, Donald Trump, who has a serious problem with being unable to trust his subordinates, overruled his 80-year old Commerce Secretary, Wilbur Ross, with respect to a bigtime Chinese hi-tech phone company, ZTE (( Ross caused ZTE to shut down its main business earlier this month because ZTE illegally exported American technology to North Korean and Iran, but Trump precipitously overruled Ross because he desperately needs President Xi Jin-ping’s support ahead of his June 12 meeting with North Korea’s  Kim Jong-un (


So Ross, a billionaire like Trump, called a press conference attended by associate solitary reporter Johanna Jones, in which he tossed in the towel and accused Trump of throwing him under the bus. “At my age, my bones are way too brittle, Johanna,” he said. “Even though I can afford the best orthopedic surgeon to fix my broken bones, I’d never survive the surgery."


Finally, Missouri’s Republican governor, Eric Greitens, got a free pass yesterday when prosecutors dropped charges against him for criminal invasion of privacy. “I figured if Trump could get a free pass from his voters for his numerous infidelities and hugely disrespectful comments against women, then, Me Too, I am entitled to do whatever I want with women,” Greitens told associate solitary reporter Annabelle Coburn.





Netanyahu Appoints Kushner As His Ambassador to Trumpland

As dozens of Palestinian protesters died at the Gaza-Israeli border today, Donald Trump’s Treasury Secretary, Steven Mnuchin, First Daughter Ivanka, and Son-in-Law-in-Chief Jared Kushner violated international law by opening Trump’s America First Embassy in Jerusalem.


Kushner was all smiles as he called for peace between Palestinians and Israelis.


Even happier was Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, who could never get along with President Obama.


Toward the end of the ceremony, Netanyahu effused, “Jared, My Son, in whom I am well pleased, I hereby grant you citizenship in the Land of Milk and Honey.”


Kushner was ecstatic, but his inherent sense of reserve prevented him from shedding tears of joy.


“And now that you and Ivanka are citizens of Israel, I hereby appoint and anoint you as my Ambassador to the Land of Trump."


Mnuchin’s net worth is $300 million. As the ceremony concluded, he told associate solitary reporter Theodore Cohen, “ You see, Ted, it’s all about the money."