The latest news…

Sun

13

Oct

2019

Trump's What?

Yesterday, Donald Trump spoke at something called the Values Voters Summit (https://www.politico.com/news/2019/10/12/trump-values-voter-summit-2020-045162.)

 

This is very puzzling to us here at AP, because the man doesn’t have any values that are worth examining.

 

And now, the most litigious man ever to sit at the Resolute Desk in the White House wants to sue Adam Schiff and Nancy Pelosi — even though there is no constitutional basis for doing so.

 

So — when associate solitary reporter Johanna Jones — you know, the young African American woman who is with Trump 24/7 — accosted Trump early this morning, to tell him he has no values, he did what he’s done hundreds of times in the annals of Apocryphal Press.

 

That is to say, he picked her petite self up and tossed her out his Oval Office window, where she was ministered to by the ACLU and the Democratic National Committee’s Tom Perez.

 

Sun

13

Oct

2019

Trump's Plan to Partition Syria Is Thwarted by Putin

Poland was partitioned three times, in 1772, 1790, and 1795. 

 

All that has been extensively documented by associate solitary reporter Andrew Kentwood, who is a professor of Polish History at Harvard. Kentwood’s multi-volume history of how Poland was done in was published last year by Oxford University Press.

 

As we have said in these pages many, many times, Donald Trump hasn’t the least idea what he’s doing.

 

On the basis of a single phone call with Turkish dictator Recep Tayyip Erdogan, he withdrew all American troops from northern Syria, so that Erdogan could march his army into Syria and exterminate the Kurds.

 

We must remember that the Kurds were promised their own homeland by the Brits at the conclusion of the First World War — the war to end all wars….

 

But the Brits didn't keep their promise.

 

Kurds live in Iran, Iraq, Turkey, and Syria, and they still want the homeland they were promised over a hundred years ago.

 

America’s strongest ally against ISIS was the Kurds, but Erdogan wants to kill them all.

 

So we sent our leading scholar in all international matters, associate solitary reporter Larry Theis (who is fluent in Kurdish, Arabic, and Russian, as well as Chinese) to the battleground in northern Syria, where Trump has blood on his hands for betraying the Kurds.

 

Theis, who has perfect vision, especially at night, was almost caught between the advancing Syrian army, led by Syrian general Ali Abdullah Ayyoub, and Erdogan’s army, led by Turkish general Yasar Guler.

 

But then along came Vlaldimir Putin’s Army Chief of Staff, general Valery Gerasimov, who promptly called in Putin’s topdog Air Force guy, lt. gen. Andrei Yudin.

 

Gerasimov was faced with a true dilemma: should he rescue Theis?

 

As of press time, Theis’ whereabouts are unknown, but we’ll update you once we find out where he is.

 

Meanwhile, at Bedminster, Trump was on the phone with his close personal friend, Vladimir Putin.

 

“Vlad, ol' buddy,” Trump began, “let’s just carve up Syria — you know, like what happened to Poland way back when. That be okay with you?”

 

“Sure, Donny,” Putin replied, “I get to keep it all, and you get to pull your Sixth Fleet completely out of the Mediterranean. Deal?”

 

“Vlad, I have no problem with that, as long as you let me put up Trump casinos in St. Petersburg, Moscow, Yekaterinburg, and Novosibirsk, and wherever else I want.”

 

“Sure, Donny, but I get fifty percent of all your filthy capitalist profits. Deal?"

 

“Deal."

 

Fri

11

Oct

2019

Full Details on Today's Testimony by Our Former Ambassador to Ukraine; McAleenan Quits TrumpWorld; Shepard Smith Wants to Interview Jane Fonda

Donald Trump doesn’t have the least idea how to conduct diplomacy.

 

No wonder why: he is not in the least diplomatic. He’s a New Yorker, and so is his Shadow Secretary of State, another loudmouth, i.e., lawyer Rudy Giuliani — a lawyer at serious risk of disbarment.

 

Today, Ruissian-American Marie “Masha” Yovanovitch, a very well-respected Senior Foreign Service professional diplomat, and our former Ambassador to Ukraine, excoriated Trump in her testimony in Congress (so much for Mike Pompeo’s supposed cooperation with Trump in his strident and obstructive non-cooperation with the Impeachment Inquiry).

 

As he was bribing Ukraine’s President, former comedian Volodymyr Zelensky, on July 25, Trump trashed Ambassador Yovanovitch, a Russian-American, whom he had recalled in May.

 

Today she testified in Congress and cogently explained that the reason why Trump recalled her was because she was not a team player for Team Trump (https://www.cnn.com/2019/10/11/politics/yovanovitch-statement-breakdown/index.html).

 

Our chief Congressional correspondent, associate soitary reporter Melissa Smith, was in the closed-door hearing, so she heard everything that Ambassador Yovanovitch said to House Foreign Affairs Committee Chair Eliot Engel (D-NY).

 

“In all my 30 years as a career Foreign Service officer,” Yovanovich told Rep. Engel, “I have never served under a Commander-in-Chief who is so intent on causing serious and irreparable harm to our country.”

 

Elsewhere, though Fox News is very pro-Trump, Fox News’ Shepard Smith has said goodbye to that channel; seems the News section of Fox News is at war with the Opinion section (https://www.cnn.com/2019/10/11/media/shepard-smith-leaving-fox-news/index.html).

 

Shepard Smith told associate solitary reporter Susanna Sherman that he plans, as a private citizen, to interview Kevin McAleenan, who has just quit TrumpWorld. McAleenan was Trump’s Acting Secretary of Homeland Security (https://www.cnn.com/2019/10/11/politics/mcaleenan-resigns-homeland-security-secretary/index.html).

 

Bui Shepard Smith paused a moment and then told ASR Sherman that he would prefer to interview, instead, Jane Fonda, who managed to get herself arrested today outside the Capitol for her participation in “Fire Drill Friday,” a civil disobedience effort to raise awareness of environmental challenges.

Wed

09

Oct

2019

In Which We Explain Why There Is No Power Anymore in TrumpWorld

Most all of the power in TrumpWorld has been lost.

 

That’s because Donald Trump is very good at shooting himself in the foot (and elsewhere in his massive body).

 

Speaking of power — and power outages — California’s largest electric power company, PG&E — which has had its own problems — has shut off power for some eight hundred thousand of its customers in the nation’s largest state by population.

 

California is a Blue State.

 

PG&E has stated publicly that it has cut off power to all those folks in northern Caliofrnia because of extremely dry weather conditions, and, as we all know, California has had lots of trouble recently with out of control forest fires; ask anybody in Paradise, Caliofrnia, and they will explain all of it to you in more detail than you would care to hear (https://www.cnn.com/2019/10/09/us/pge-power-outage-wednesday/index.html).

 

But there is another wrinkle in all this: Devin Nunes is a Republican Congressman from California, and he is the Ranking Member of the House Intelligence Committee, and when the GOP controlled the House, Nunes was its Chairman. That’s when Nunes tried, very clumsily, to follow Trump’s orders to nix the Mueller Investigation.

 

But now, Adam Schiff (D-Cal.) is the Chairman of the House Intelligence Committee, and Congressman Schiff is hot on the trail of Donald Trump.

 

As every reasonable person should be.

 

Associate solitary reporter Susanna Sherman, who is well familiar with the poltics of California, just texted us here at AP to tell us that Nunes, whose entire political fortunes are inextricably tied to Trump, took it upon himself to order PG&E to inconvenience every single Democrat in all of California, especially the Bay Area and the north.

 

So, per ASR Sherman, it turns out that PG&E didn’t cut off power for reasons of safety, but, rather, for reasons of political expediency.

 

But it’s all very clear that most all of the power in TrumpWorld has been cut off, because Trump is manifestly guilty of obstruction of a Congressional investigation, which obviously warrants Articles of Impeachment.

 

When those Articles of Impeachment get to Mitch McConnell’s Senate, both California’s Senators, Democrats Dianne Feinstein and presidential candidate Kamala Harris, will vote to convict.

 

Associate solitary reporter Johanna Jones tells us that Trump will do absolutely nothing to help either PG&E or any of its Democratic customers.

 

Wed

09

Oct

2019

Trump's Stonewalling Tactics Are Fully Explained by a Descendant of General "Stonewall" Jackson

Donald Trump has declared war on Congress.

 

He's a mean-mouthed, brash, undisciplined, paranoid, delusional narcissist. He clearly puts his own interests, such as the possiblity of a second or a third or fourth term, ahead of the nation’s.

 

This was especially true yesterday after he instructed his White House Counsel, Pat Cipollone, to tell House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and the chairs of the three House Committees which are investigating Trump’s many crimes and misdemeanors, that there will be absolutely no cooperation between the White House and the House of Representatives.

 

This, after former Wichita Tea Party Congressman Mike Pompeo told superwealthy Trump campaign donor Gordon Sondland, Trump’s Ambassador to the EU, not to testify yesterday in Congress, at the last minute. Sondland is a key witness in the Ukraine Scandal.

 

And former South Carolina Republican Congressman Trey Gowdy, a bulldog, is ready to go to war against the Dems as outside counsel for Trump.

 

Read all about it at https://www.politico.com/news/2019/10/08/trump-democrats-impeachment-blockade-040900 and https://www.cnn.com/2019/10/09/politics/donald-trump-democrats-impeachment-nancy-pelosi/index.html.

 

Yesterday, on the PBS News Hour with Judy Woodruff, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and her daughter, Chelsea, were interviewed by Woodruff.

 

HRC nailed it when she characterized Trump’s misshapen personality. That, after our Twitterer-in-Chief tweeted that she should run against him. And she told Woodruff that she knows she could beat him — all true.

 

So, after watching “Skip” Gates’ weekly "Finding Your Roots" show on PBS, we decided to ask associate solitary reporter Johanna Jones about her family history.

 

Turns out that ASR Jones is a descendant of General “Stonewall” Jackson, whose military prowess on behalf of the Confederacy nearly won the Confederacy a clear victory over the Unon in the Civill War (Stonewall was shot by friendly fire in 1863 and died ten days later, before Gettysburg; some military historians think that if he been with Lee at Gettysburg, Lee might’ve won).

 

Jones, who, as a mole for DNC Chair Tom Perez, is embedded in the White House, is a first hand witness to the very obvious stonewalling that Trump & Co. are engaged in.

 

Given that senators such as Lindsey Graham (R-SC) are part of the pro-Trump anti-impeachment yelling crowd, looks like Trump will be not be convicted by Mitch McConnell’s Republican majority in the Senate.

 

‘Cause it takes a two-thirds vote in the Senate to convict.

 

That is, unless the GOP senators take their job seriously.