Trump Declares Mar-a-Lago to Be An Independent Republic

Our Chief Investigative Reporter, associate solitary reporter Susanna Sherman, has sources deep within the Justice Department, where she served as Solicitor General under President Clinton.
They have told her unequivocally that Justice has already prepared multiple indictments against Donald Trump for his obvious attempts to subvert our democracy.
Sherman confirmed this today as soon as the Thompson Committee concluded its last hearing as it prepares to say goodbye to two stalwart Republican Representatives, Liz Cheney and Adam Kinsinger.
Her phone has a speed dial for Special Counsel Jack Smith, who is investigating all Trump’s misdeeds, including stealing documents from the National Archives.
Smith is a first-class investigator, having prosecuted major corruption cases at Justice, so he know what needs to be done.
Knowing all that, associate solitary reporter Johanna Jones, who is unhoused and camps out on the lawn at Mar-a-Lago, talked with Trump this morning.
“Johanna, best thing I can do considering all those witch-hunts being launched against me, because nobody likes me except my rabid fans, is to declare Mar-a-Lago to be an independent republic."
“All I need to do is talk to my close personal friends the Proud Boys and they’ll send their special militia down my way and protect me, and secure the boundaries.”
“Of course I have not consulted that pipsqueak, Ron DeSantis, but he’s not very smart and he’ll just let me do whatever I want.”
“Even if they do put me in the slammer, my adoring base will elect me in 2024. By then, Biden will have been impeached and convicted.”