What's Wrong With Texas That Dr Lena Wen Can't Fix?

In 2004, journalist and historian Thomas Frank won multiple awards for his book, What’s the Matter with Kansas? How Conservatives Won the Heart of America.

 

His book was on the Times’ Best Seller List for eighteen weeks.

 

When his book was published in the UK and in Australia, the title was What’s Wrong with America?

 

So now the question is, what’s the matter with Texas?

 

It’s a big big state, with 254 counties (including the perhaps anomaloius Panhandle, featured in Annie Proulx’s exquisite novel, That Old Ace in the Hole.

 

It’s not for nothin’ that the Lone Star State is opposed to regulation of any kind, which is why four million Texans are still without power and without potable drinking water, ‘cause Texas’ electric grid is for Texans.

 

Today, governor Greg Abbott (a Republican of course, and a devoted follower of Donald Trump) lifted all restrictions on mask wearing, physical distancing, etc., etc., in direct contradiction of very sensible guidelines issued by the Center for Disease Control.

 

Mississippi is also a Devotely Red State, and there, Republican governor Tate Reeves (also an acolyte of twice-impeached Trump) did the same thing — cancelling restrictions suggested by the CDC.

 

So we sent four of our very best associate solitary reporters, longtime Texans associate solitary reporters Karen Greenwood, Anthony Steadman, Priscilla Carney, and Polly Malinowski — two of whom are devout Roman Catholics in the Bible Belt — to ask governor Abbott why he would do such a dumb thing.

 

“That’s easy, boys ’n gals,” he began. “See, the reason we had really bad winter weather here in Texas recently, is because of AOC, it’s all her fault; plus, The Almighty Dollar is the only thing worthy of talking ‘bout in Texas.”

 

“That’s why we Texans have an electric grid that serves Texans, and to hell with anybody else’s state.”

 

Your dynamic Group of Four then asked associate solitary reporter Sylvania Juguete, who is with President Biden 24/7, wherther the President is prepared by a possible repeat insurrection at the Capitol tomorrow.

 

“Damn straight,” Juguete told us.