POPE FRANCIS WANTS TO BE A UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST MINISTER

VATICAN CITY – They said it would never, ever happen.

 

Pope Francis has embraced the central credo of Unitarian Universalism, that God is love. Not only that, he wants to become a Unitarian Universalist minister.

 

In a lengthy interview with the Jesuit magazine, America, Francis announced that Roman Catholic dogma is trumped by Jesus' gospel of love.

 

As detailed in today's New York Times, the Pope criticized the Church for putting dogma before love, and for prioritizing moral doctrines over serving the poor and marginalized. He articulated his vision of an inclusive church, a “home for all” — a striking contrast with his predecessor, Benedict XVI, the doctrinal defender who envisioned a smaller, pure church.

 

“The church's pastoral ministry cannot be obsessed with the transmission of a disjointed multitude of doctrines to be imposed consistently,” the Pope explained.

 

“We have to find a new balance,” the Pope continued, “otherwise even the moral edifice of the church is likely to fall like a house of cards, losing the freshness and fragrance of the gospel.”

 

In the interview, Francis also said, “I am a really, really undisciplined person."

 

And as an afterthought, in an aside to a solitary reporter, Francis said, “Because I am so undisciplined -- that is why I want to be a Unitarian Universalist minister.”

 

After eavesdropping on the Pope's interview with Rev. Antonio Spardaro, the Jesuit who conducted the Interview, Kevin Spacey, the star of the Netflix original, “House of Cards,” in which Spacey plays a powerful, totally corrupt, completely brazen and murderous Democratic Congressman, told the solitary reporter, “I never thought I would live to see the day.”

 

“First of all, His Holiness has given me a lot of free publicity. Second, he has just given a nod to the facts of life, namely, the world isn't pretty at all, and we can't hide behind dogma to fix it. Third, he is the first pope in the history of the Roman Catholic Church to let fresh air into his beloved Church of Rome.”

 

The solitary reporter, an occasionally disgruntled Unitarian Universalist minister, agreed.

 

But Peter Morales, the President of the Unitarian Universalist Association, tweeted Francis, explaining that he would have to apply for ministerial credentials before he could be welcomed into fellowship as a Unitarian Universalist minister.

 

“We don't let just anybody in,” Morales explained. “We are almost as tough letting folks into our ministerial fellowship as the Catholics are.”

 

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