McConnnll, Johnson Disagree about Aid to Ukraine, Settle their Differences in a Boxing Match

Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell is only a few days younger than your reclusive solitary reporter, who is 81 at last report.


Now that the gops have elevated Shreveport’s own Mike Johnson, 51, to third in line for the presidency, we now see that his Senate counterpart, McConnell, is clashing directly with the GOP’s new wunderkind, who was plucked from obscurity to Speaker just a few days ago.


It’s because McConnell, very sensibly, supports maximum military assistance to Ukraine but Johnson doesn’t. Johnson supports massive aid to Israel but is part of a Republican plan which has been caught up in Ukraine fatigue,


So we sent one of our best operatives, associate solitary reporter Keith Coleman, to observe a secret boxing match between Johnson and McConnell. No reporters except Coleman were allowed in, and the match was held in a tunnel deep under the Capitol.


The match was set for 15 rounds but McConnell, despite his age and inherent flabbiness (he has three chins), prevailed. Which means that Aid to Ukraine will continue.