Our Most Idiosyncratic Associate Solitary Reporter Has a Solution for the Hamas-Israeli War

Today, with elaborate security in Tel Aviv, President Biden met with Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu. The President has already returned to the White House. 
Incidentally, Biden has been much criticized by Republicans as too old to be re-elected, but consider for a moment the stamina of an eighty-year old man with the toughest job in the world, that he made the trip with no problems, especially no disabling medical problems.
Our very large corps of associate solitary reporters has finally tackled the intricately difficult task of sending out this post on the Israeli-Gaza War. We held off on this until now because of the very considerable heartbreaks and rage after Hamas sent thousands of missiles into Israel in a carefully planned attack, and, in the processs, Hamas kidnapped numerous Israeli hostages, and the group of hostages includes some Americans as well. This makes it logistically a major challenge to invade Hamas in their effort to eradicate that non-state actor from the face of the earth.
AP fans are well aware that our MO is to take something that has happened in real life and real time in the news, and then spin it into total absurdity.
With that disclaimer in mind, here we go.
Cyprus is in the eastern Mediterranean, 160 miles from the coast of Israel.
The northeastern part of the island of Cyprus was occupied by Turkey in 1974 after Turkey invaded Cyprus because of escalating intercommunal violence between Greek Cypriots and Turkish Cypriots. After protracted battles and subsequent negotiations, eventually a de facto arrangement was made whereby Greek Cypriots would occupy most of the island and they would be separated from the Turkish Cypriots to keep them apart.
Though typically bizarre, we here at AP think it would be worthwhile for the entirety of the Hamas leadership to relocate to the Turkish part of the island. After all, Turks are Muslims. They would, in the process, confess to the world that their action in attacking Israel on October 7 was a really bad idea, and they would assume responsibility for the immense loss of life by both Palestinians and Israelis. They will ask their close personal friends in Iran to  come up with the needed money to accomplish restitution. For their part, Israel will promise to all Palestinians to end the Israeli blockade of Gaza immediately, allow humanitarian aid to enter Gaza, and allow all Gazans and foreigners to leave Gaza. This will, of course, cause a major problem for Egypt, which does not want any refugees, especially Palestinian refugees, but the Egyptians will have to remind themselves that the central tenets of Islam include hospitality. In other words, it can be worked out.
When associate solitary reporter Keith Coleman, who is a covert operative with the Democratic National Committee, informed both Netanyahu and Biden of his plan, they both erupted in uncontrollable laugher. But Coleman is used to this kind of disappointment, so he smiled and returned to his home in Maryland aboard a freighter so he can take an extended vacation without having to worry about arranging transportation back to the United States on airplanes.