June 29 , 2023
This year’s biggie on the Supreme Court docket is Students for Fair Admissions Inc. v. Harvard, which held that universities may not base their admissions decisions on
racial factors.
As George Eliot said in Middlemarch, “Satire should be true up to a certain point”
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The decision, issued today, was 6-3, with Clarence Thomas, a traitor to his race, and Justices Alito, Gorsuch, Kavanaugh, Barrett, and Chief Justice Roberts, who wrote the decision, over a
strong and impassioned dissent by Justice Sonia Sotomayor, with another dissenting opinion by Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson. Justice Jackson and Justice Thomas, who are both Black, had sharp
words for each other. i
President Biden promptly rebuked the decision, saying it was not issued by a "normal court."
Associate solitary reporter Keith Coleman assisted Justice Sotomayor in her dissent, while associate solitary reporter Eddie Cook, the Chairman of the Denver Republican Party, was
instrumental in the preparation of the Chief Justice’s opinion.
“Colleges and universities are for white people and not for people of color,” Cook said. "They are inherently inferior and they should only be admitted if they pass a strict probationary
period in which they are dishwashers and janitors. No students of color, even if admitted, may be granted any degrees indicating superior achievements, athletic or otherwise.”
In other news, Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin, who is not Irish, initiated President Biden’s military offensive against Canadian PM Justin Trudeau to destroy all two hundred raging Canadian
wildfires, which are causing serious breathing difficulties throughout the Upper Midwest. The operation is being supervised by Edmonton Mayor and associate solitary reporter Gary Zeman.
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Apocryphal Press®, a registered mark of Tom Korson, blends fantasy with fact, the former often predominating.As George Eliot said in Middlemarch, “Satire should be true up to a certain point”
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