At Their Kremlin Meeting, Xi Upbraids Putin

Xi Jingpin, China’s dictator for life, is much envied by Donald Trump because Trump lost to Uncle Joe but won’t admit it.


Xi is at the Kremlin today. Xi is Putin’s only friend these days. Putin is in charge of Putinia, which used to be known as Russia.


Associate solitary reporter Foma Kheroshonsky is our primary Moscow correspondent. He is a fly on the wall in the Kremlin during the Xi-Puitin meetings, and this is what he told us: Xi started by reminding Putin that he, Xi, is taller than he is, which of course has vast geopolitical importance.


Putin said “Dammit, Pingpong, you are way too tall, you remind me that I am a short guy, but I have more nukes than you do, but give me all yours, you gotta help me out in Ukraine.”


Xi smiled and said, “Vlad, not so fast. I have many responsibilities in my Sphere of Influence and you can’t do a damn thing about it, except you must support me when I invade Taiwan tomorrow. If you do that I’ll give you a few of my missiles, but remember, it’s up to me to solve your Ukraine problem for you.”


Putin called a press conference and denounced Putin for being a lackluster ally. Xi told Putin he is leaving their tete a tete early. Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin reassured Taiwan’s president, Tsai Ing-wen, that she has nothing to worry about, as he signed off on an additional five billion in financial aid to President Zelensky, and told Zelensky to continue wearing his military fatigues. 


In short, everything all over the world is beginning to wake up, using wokist ideology at every opportunity.