Xi and Montana's Only Democrat Are Spotted in a Chinese Spy Balloon


Chinese President for Life Xi Jinping doesn’t like us, which is why he keeps building artificial islands in the South China Sea.


He has one of his numerous spy satellites hovering over Montana and elsewhere, https://www.nytimes.com/2023/02/03/world/asia/china-spy-balloon.html, https://www.cnn.com/2023/02/03/politics/us-monitoring-chinese-balloon/index.html.


The Big Sky State is a red state with a beefy rancher Democrat as its Senior Senator, Jon Tester. He’s up in 2024 and Ronna Romney’s RNC has Jon, who bravely sports a crew-cut, firmly in her cross-hairs.


Even Donald Trump’s Secretary of Defense, Mark Esper, who never learned how to smile, is on record saying that Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin, who is plenty beefy himself, should not shoot it down. Xi says that it’s a weather research balloon that simply strayed off course and that all he really wants to do is fly his spy balloon over the White House to see what Joe Biden is doing in his spare time; https://www.politico.com/news/2023/02/03/china-spy-balloon-us-airspace-00081073.


Montana’s other senator, Steve Daines, a former salesman for Procter & Gamble, climbed on top of his roof in Bozeman and told the whole world that Austin should start a nuclear war and capture all Xi’s artificial islands, according to our Chief Legislative reporter, associate solitary reporter Melissa Smith and associate solitary reporter Grant Booker, the Mayor of Bozeman. 


Associate solitary reporter Ko Il-sung, who is based in Seoul, texted Xi to ask him whether he is now traveling first class on the green comet which is streaking through the skies, thttps://www.cnn.com/videos/business/2023/02/02/green-comet-space-earth-stone-age-cnntm-cprog-fisher-vpx.cnn


“No,  Ko,” Xi replied, saying that he and his top scientists are inside Terra Firma.


“I have to be careful to stay away from my Uighurs in Xinjiang, which is why I have my secret escape bunker deep inside the earth’s crust.”


The earth’s core has stopped rotating, according to Nature GeoScience and Professor Kaku Michio, a theoretical physicist, https://www.cnn.com/videos/world/2023/01/26/earth-core-paused-physics-professor-explains-cnntm-vpx.cnn.


“So my hope is that President Xi will be comfortable inside his secret bunker deep inside the earth,” Kaku explained to our Chief Science Reporter, Bill Evans. 


Eventually, Xi emerged, both from his bunker and from his spy satellite, together with Senator Tester. “I was just testing Xi to see how good his English is,” the Senator said, as Ko groaned in disbelief.