November 16, 2022
As widely expected in TrumpWorld, he’s doing it again.
Donald Trump is morbidly obese, and he gets almost no exercise when he’s on one of his numerous golf resorts, and he is incapable of being nice to anybody, and many astute psychologists are
already aware that he’s not even nice to himself.
Yesterday in a glitzy setting at his overpriced resort in South Florida — with associate solitary reporter Johanna Jones hiding under the stage lest she be assaulted by some three hundred eager
Trumpies — he got up and made a rambling speech in vintage Trump style.
But in faraway Louisville, Kentucky, his principal legislative antagonist, Mitch McConnell, made his own announcement, known only to our Chief Congressional Correspondent, associate solitary
reporter Melissa Smith, who was the only one in attendance, with the exception of Elaine Chao, McConnell’s wife, who is fluent in Southern as well as in Fujianese, principal the dialect spoken in
Taiwan, where Chao is from.
“Melissa,” McConnell began, “I find it very irritating that you are the only reporter covering this splendid event.”
“I know that Donald Trump is holding a competing event, which is why I am having my own Event.”
“It’s true, Melissa, I’m running for president.”
“I have enough self-understanding to know that I am not handsome, but who cares anything about that? Just think how skillful I have been, with the help of my close personal friend Leonard Leo of
the Federalist Society, in filling the ranks of our federal judiciary with ultra-conservative justices, especially on the Supreme Court.”
As your solitary reporter listened intently this morning to Steve Inskeep’s interview on NPR with Republican strategist Alice Stewart, he distinctly heard Stewart applaud everything McConnell
In Denver, Eddie Cook, the Chairman of the Denver Republican Party, was seen weeping as he watched Trump’s announcement.
Apocryphal Press®, a registered mark of Tom Korson, blends fantasy with fact, the former often predominating.
As George Eliot said in Middlemarch
, “Satire should be true up to a certain point”
Our subscribers catch up on the news that didn't happen and, sometimes, on the news that we wish would happen
Our large editorial staff is pleased to receive comments of any kind
Tell your friends about Apocryphal Press
All we need is their email address and their permission for us in our IT Department to add them to our MailChimp list.
Site Map: apocryphalpress.com
Masthead designed and built by PixelTrickster™
Copyright © 2022 Apocryphal Press,
All Rights Reserved.
Apocryphal Press® is a United States Registered Trademark of Tom Korson.