As usual, we here at AP began our day by listening to NPR.
As our friend of many years, associate solitary reporter Malcolm Abbott, Distinguished Emeritus Professor of International Relations at Michigan State University, “NPR is the only thing worth
As soon your solitary reporter turned on the radio today, all of a sudden there was the well-known gravelly voice of Iowa’s senior senator, Chuck Grassley.
Grassley is 89 and is running for his eighth term in the United States Senate.
So we immediately called associate solitary reporter Melissa Smith, our Chief Congressional Correspondent, and this is what she told us:
“SR,” she began, scarcely able to breathe, at such an early hour, “I just got off the phone with Chuck — not Chuck Schumer, mind you — and he told me he’s hanging it up.”
“Melissa, I first came to Washington in 1975, long before you were born.”
“And I’ve been a loyal Republican since September 18, 1933, the day after I was born.”
“We here in Iowa are born-again traditionalists, and we always vote Republican.”
“My opponent, a retired Admiral, seems like a nice young man, but he’s a Democrat, which means that he has no chance.”
“I am a devoted follower of Donald Trump, and I was thrilled to receive his endorsement, and if anything happens to me such as getting sick, or, Lord forbid, dying in office, my close
personal friend Kim Reynolds, our esteemed governor, would appoint a solid Republican to replace me.”
“Which is why, after all these years, I’m going back to the farm in New Hartford, so I can keep practicing hog farming. That’s my true love.”