To us here at AP, that means that if Ivanka and Jared could persuade Daddy to be hypnotized, there might be hope for Trump. And yes, we realize that seems far-fetched.
But just in case there’s some kind of “there” there, associate solitary reporter Johanna Jones tells us that the best hypnotist to be brought in would be Perry Perry, a Reagan Republican known to
your solitary reporter as a psychologist who offered to hypnotize him years ago when Perry was running a homeless shelter in downtown Denver, and Perry, a clinical psychologist, was trying
to help his confused chaplain use his pastoral care skills to convince the homeless working men down in the shelter that they could succeed in Perry’s program.
So Apocryphal Airlines promptly flew Perry to Mar-a-Lago, where, in full view of all the homeless camped out on the grounds of Trump’s Estate, everyone could view the spectacle.
As soon as he set eyes on Perry , the two exchanged signs of recognition, because each one was fully primed to believe in the illusion that hypnosis can “fix” people and reinforce their
pre-existing condition of being totally gobsmacked and naive.
As he led Trump by the hand to the part of Mar-a-Lago with immediate access to the ocean, Perry listened to Trump as he sang the Star-Spangled Banner, saying “I’m free at last, I’m free at last,
this is my Come to Jesus Moment, I lost the election to Joe Biden, so now all I have to do is announce that I’ll never run for president, ever again. No more weeping, no more lying,
no more bullying.”
Jones had considerable difficulty believing what she had just heard, so she recorded it and sent it to Viral-land. Biden called Trump to congratulate him for becoming rational for the first time
in his life.