A Detailed Analysis of Congress' Stopgap Spending Bill

Congress had months to pass a required spending bill by today. All those months of wrangling with lots of posturing. This happens every time an appropriations bill approaches a deadline. Full of Republican obfuscation and obstructionism. Always seems like a game with the players running to their corners, then the Dems and the GOPs work something out at the last minute.

Associate solitary reporter Melissa Smith, our Chief Congressional Correspondent, was there during the negotiations. She heard the Republican managers of the negotiations say, wearily, that they are desperate for Donald Trump and Ginni Thomas to shut up and face the music, but Ginni refused and said through a proxy that the the most important thing for the future of America is to support Donald Trump in whatever he says, and that she will ensure that her husband, justice Clarence Thomas, will advance Trump's agenda for the greater glory of God.
For his part, Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer's designee, Senator Dick Durbin of Illinois, said he is amenable to a stopgap funding bill provided that Trump agrees to a permanent, voluntary exile.
Now that a seeming agreement has been made to stop playing with fire until Tuesday, we can get back to preparing for Vladimir Putin to launch his nukes at Kyiv.