One thing we can always count on from Donald Trump, he’s such an absolute, total screamer, always demanding attention, and he’s so out in space at all times, that NASA has come to the rescue of the Republican Party and of our planet.
It’s been almost 50 years since the United States, clearly a tech superpower, sent humans to the moon, and now NASA has readied the Artemis I Program to do it again, https://www.cnn.com/interactive/world/artemis-1-in-numbers-scn/.
But what even President Biden didn’t know was that the idiot he defeated fair and square in the 2020 election is on board the Artemis spacecraft and is ready to be blasted off tomorrow.
This top secret information comes to us straight from the source, namely, associate solitary reporter Keith Coleman. For years, Coleman has been at the forefront of the DNC’s continuing, and desperately needed, efforts to keep abreast of Techville’s abilities to save the world as we know it. Not only that, Coleman learned about Trump’s new role in space from among the 15 boxes of Top Secret documents that Trump took with him to Mar-a-Lago.
And our Chief Theological Guru, associate solitary reporter Jim Bob Hobarto, has signed on as Chaplain to Trump so that he can ensure Trump survives the Artemis Mission so we can continue to kick him around, just as the press continued to kick Tricky Dick Nixon around after he lost his bid to be Governor of California in 1962. Hobarto will be accompanied by Lewis Thompson III, the President of the Unitarian Universalist Association. Unitarian Universalists, among others in the liberal theological tradition, practice mindfulness, and they are always mindful of the power of the liberal imagination to think through every plan to keep at bay those who wish for evil.