Putin's Version of the Senate's Nuclear Option

In 1986, not far from Kiev/Kyiv, the Ukrainian SSR produced the Chernobyl nuclear plant catastrophe, which cost 100 lives and some 18 billion Soviet rubles to fix.


The world’s most hated pariah, Vlad the Ukraine hater, has put put his nukes on high alert, and, not only that, his soldiers promptly set fire to the Chernobyl plant.


We here at AP and around the world know that Putin’s obsessions have plunged the world into very high danger mode, so it was associate solitary reporter Melissa Smith, our Chief Legislative Correspondent, who quickly reminded us of the nuclear option in the U S Senate — a parliamentary procedure which allows the Senate to override a standing rule by a simple majority, rather than the two-thirds required to amend Senate rules.


When Smith relayed this factoid to our Chief Moscow Correspondent, associate solitary reporter Foma Kheroshonsky, he suppressed a guffaw as he regaled his bunkmates in the Kremlin. “We never thought Vlad would adopt anything related to democratic procedures, but he did it in his own highly militiaristic way by nearly setting tiny Moldova on fire."


Associate solitary reporter Ken Mountaineer is our newest associate solitary reporter. He spent two happy years in Moldova in the Peace Corps and is a friend of its president, 49 year old Maia Sandu, a graduate of the Kennedy School of Government. Mountaineer has taken a leave of two months from his day job as the President of the Colorado Association of Certified Financial Planners to assist Moldova with its influx of Ukrainian refigees from Putin’s War. He tells us that President Sandu, a woman, is prepared to kick Putin in the cojones to bring him to his senses and stop the war.