After Trump's Longtime Accounting Firm Cuts Him Off, Trump Is Homeless, But No Homeless Shelter Will Let Him In

For many years now — and it’s not just AP fans, but, rather, everyone who, in 2020, voted for Joe Biden for President — we’ve known that Donald Trump is a liar and a cheat.  


As we here at AP have been saying for years, the place to start learning about Donald J. Trump is by reading Michael D’Antonio’s 2015 best-selling book, Never Enough: Donald Trump and the Pursuit of Success. There, D’Antonio, an occasional CNN contributor, exhaustively details Trump’s family background and his baddest boy phases as a youth, culminating in his numerous business frauds, once his father, Fred Trump, gave him superb traininig in how to cheat his business “partners."


New York Attorney General Letitia James has been conducting an exhaustive civil investigation into whether, to obtain loans to keep his hundreds of businesses operating, Trump overstated the value of many of his properties, including his lavish residence in Trump Tower. For example, he overstated its value by a cool $200,000, as reported in today’s Times (…”in a recent filing, Mr. Trump claimed that [his] triplex apartment in his Trump Tower spanned 30,000 square feet, giving it an eye-popping value of $327 million. In truth, the apartment [is] 10,996 square feet…Mr. Trump’s long-serving chief financial officer, Allen H. Weisselberg, later acknowledged to investigators that the company had overvalued the value of the apartment by ‘give or take’ $200,000.” And now, Mazars, Trump’s long-time acounting firm, has totally cut its ties with the Trump Organization, saying that the financial statements that it has prepared for Trump for nearly ten years cannot be relied on (


Weisselberg has pleaded not guilty to state charges of corruption in connection with his association with Trump and the Trump

Organization — as in the Stormy Daniels matter, among other things (remember Michael Cohen and the Stormy Daniels hush money?).


While a mere $200,000 might not seem like much considering Trump’s enormous wealth, we suggest that that amount of money could be very useful to homeless people who would like to camp out right outside Trump Tower if only Trump’s security guards would allow it. 


So now that we know that Trump lied to all his numerous lenders (includng Deutsche Bank) about the value of his posh residence, does that mean that he has to move out of his Manhattan home?


To answer that, our Chief Investigative Reporter, associate solitary reporter Susanna Sherman, interviewed Daughter-in-Chief Ivanka Trump, one of the principals in the Trump Organization.


Sherman was astonished to see Ivanka crying.


“Susanna, what’s poor daddykins supposed to do now?” she wailed. “He’s had to move ouf of his home because none of his so-called friends has come out to rescue him. He’ll have to move into a homeless shelter! Whatever can we do now?? Melania won’t have anything to do with him and she’s locked herself into her luxury suite at Mar-a-Lago!!!"


To keep up the bona fides of her journalistic credentials, Sherman contacted Theresa Croyden, the CEO of Denver’s by far the most successful homeless shelter, New Genesis Transitional Community for the Homeless, known on the street as the working man’s shelter (where your solitary reporter served as Chaplain for nearly ten years in the late nineties and early 2000s) to ask if Trump could be admitted as a participant in the tough New Genesis program.


“Absolutely not, “ Croyden said. “Donald Trump hasn’t worked in the conventional sense ever. All he’s ever done is cheat and steal and vituperate against his enemies, which is just about everybody he’s ever met. When he was in the White House it was the same thing. Here at New Genesis, we only admit men who want to work, and Donald Trump just doesn’t qualify."