Sensible Australians Deport Djokovic, Who Promptly Heads Back to Belgrade to Become Serbia's Dictator

Sure seems as though a superathlete with a huge ego would be sensible enough to get himself vaccinated.


Not so with the world’s number one men’s tennis player, Serbian Novak Djokovic.


He assumed that if he flew to Melbourne to defend his grand slam title there, everybody in the world, especially in Serbia, where he is a national hero, would want to watch him play.


But he immediately ran afoul of Australia’s strict Covid-19 vaccination rules. The immigration authorities made him spend a couple of nights at their immigration detention hotel. Then, after several arguments, they allowed him to practice and then they said he could appeal the decision of the immigration minister, who was quickly backed up by PM Scott Morrison (


Right now, he is appearing before a three-judge appeals panel which is considering whether the well-known vaccine skeptic, who has tested positive for The Virus, can play in The Open, which starts tomorrow.


So we made special arrangements with newly minted associate solitary reporter Brett Whitney, whom we know to have excellent judgment in all matters.


Within minutes, Whitney, the former Mayor of Adelaide, was on a private plane made available to him by the Democratic National Committee, where we here at AP have numerous connections.


Only thirty seconds ago, Whitney texted us that the appeals court has appropriately denied Djokovic’s appeal, in a one-paragraph opinion that simply said that the tennis star is just like everybody else, you have to follow the rules


As he left the courtroom, Djoko snarled at Whitney because he knew that Brett is a member of the progressive media, but this did not deter Whitney in the least, which is why he pretended to compliment Djoko after he announced that the people of Serbia, having adored him for many years, insist that he return to his native land and take over from Prime Minister Ана Брнабић (Ana Branabi).


When her Chief of Staff told her that Djokovic would be landing at the Belgrade airport within the hour, Branabi immediaely resigned out of loyalty to Serbian nationalism.