Newly Minted Associate Solitary Reporter Confronts Jair Bolsonaro for Skipping the Global Climate Change Conference in Glasgow

President Biden is back in the White House after a halfway decent meeting in Glasgow at the global climate change conference, which is known as COP26.


But his Chinese counterpart, Xi Jinping, wasn’t there. Why? That’s easy. Xi keeps building coal-powered plants, greatly adding to global warming (


Though much remains to be done to curb the accelerating pace of global warming, an agreement was reached at the conference to decrease deforestation (


Which is why we sent newly minted associate solitary reporter Kyle Hamberton, who is fluent in Brazilian Portugese, to confront Bolsonaro, a close personal friend of Donald Trump. Dictator Putin, Dictator for life Xi Jinping, and Bolsonaro were all no-shows. Bolsonaro and his predecessors have been actively enouraging Brazilian farmers to plunder the famed Amazon rainforest, which for years has operated as a giant sponge to suck up greenhouse gases, contrary to the interests of the indigenous peoples of Brazil (


COP26 agreed to end deforestation by 2030, which is why Bolsonaro was a no-show in Glasgow.


“Kyle,” Bolsonaro began, “Pare de meter o nariz nos negocios de outras pessoas” (“Quit sticking your nose in other peoples’ business”).