All About Melania's Total Lack of Interest in 2024

Once again we here at AP find it necessary to mention that Donald Trump is married to Trophy Wife Number Three. 


And in case anyone forgot, President Clinton has always been married to Hillary. We mention this because of the new FX Series on Monica Lewinsky (


A few years ago Trump very ostentatiously married Melania Knauss. She was a model, but when Trump asked for her phone number, she was smart enough to get his phone number and then she took her own sweet time calling him.


Now that she’s out of the pubic eye — which she desperately wanted to be for more than six years — she’s determined that when her husband runs in 2024 so he can regain his seat in the lap of luxury at the White House, if that happens (which it won’t), she’ll undoubtedly decamp to Mar-a-Lago or Bedminster, where she would stay inside so nobody could see her outside.


Exultant, DNA Chair Jamie Harrison told all his State Chairs: “Donald Trump constantly needs props, and that’s all that Melania is to him. She is the most private First Lady ever. She knows deep in her heart that presidential politics is total blood sport. All she wants to do is nurture her son, and he, Barron, probably wants nothing to do with his father because, as we just said, Trump exploits both Melania and Barron as props (


“So here’s what’s gonna happen,” Harrison said. “Either Trump will find another bimbo, or Melania will go back to Slovenia, taking her chain migration parents with her.”


“Maybe both.”


“If Trump gets the Republican nomination again,” Harrison continued, "American voters will have forgotten about the Afghanistan debacle. President Biden will take all the Electoral College votes states except for Florida, because by then Trump won’t have any base any more.”