On This Memorial Day, Trump Demands that the Lincoln Memorial Be Torn Down and Replaced with....What?


Today is Memorial Day, a very special day in the history of the United States.


So we here at AP immediately began to wonder what tweets having anything to do with Memorial Day might come from Donald Trump.


We didn’t have to wonder long, because in the vast galaxy of associate solitary reporters here at Apocryphal Press, one of the earliest to join our staff was associate solitary reporter Johanna Jones.


President Biden has associate solitary reporter Sylvania Juguete, who never leaves his side, just as Trump had, and still has, ASR Jones.


Trump has no self-understanding whatsoever, a fact easily evident when he told Jones how upset he is that there is still a Jefferson Memorial.


“Dammit, Johanna! I did ever so much more for our country than Jefferson ever did! There’s no reason for that Jefferson Memorial to be still standing there! It should be torn down right away and replaced by the Trump Memorial!”


“But Sir,” Jones asked, “what would it look like?”


“Johanna, obviously you don’t know anything!! It will be as tall as Trump Tower, and on top of it will be an even taller statue of yours truly!”