Xi Jingpin Splashes Down With His Long March Rocket

As a teenager, China’s president for life, 习近平 (Xi Jinping) lived in a cave in the village of Lingjihe in rural Yanchuan County during China’s so-called Cultural Revolution, a movement that tore the then impoverished China apart. It had nothing to do with culture, but it did have a lot to do with Mao Zedong’s grip on power.


Xi Jinping's lot improved as he worked his way up the ranks of the Chinese Communist Party.


There is nothing democratic in nature having to do with the Chinese Communist Party.


Xi no longer lives in a cave. Instead, he lives in the Zhongnanhai, together with the other top leaders of China. No caves there, just luxury. That’s where he perfects his plans to sinicize the ئۇيغۇرلار (the Uyghurs) in remote western China.


The Uyghurs are a Turkic group who are Muslims, and Xi is very threatened by anybody who threatens him.


Does that remind you of Donald Trump?


Anyway, recently Xi launched his Long March rocket, just to show off, and yesterday the thing fell apart on re-entry, and the debris was found near The Maldives, an island nation in the Indian Ocean.


So we sent our Chief East Asia correspondent, associate soitary reporter Ko Il-sun, to the Maldives to see what he could find there.


Ko was not surprised in the least to find that among the debris from the Long March rocket was Xi himself.


Xi picked himself off from the rubble and yelled at Ko and told him to go straight to President Biden and tell him never ever ever to visit him in his Central Kingdom.


But Ko was not to be daunted. He told Xi to swim to Hainan Island and there, tell his military to quit building artificial islands in the South China Sea.