Associate Solitary Reporter Eddie Cook, the Chair of the Republican Party of Denver, Assures Us That Donald Trump Will Run Against Joe Biden in 2024

In the pages of this online apocryphal newspaper, we’ve had plenty to say about Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell.
Mitch, he don’t like to be called Moscow Mitch, but your solitary reporter has often worn his Moscow Mitch t-shirt.
Mitch considers himself to be the greatest preserver ever of the traditions of the United States Senate.
He also considers himself as having been given a mission to turn our federal judiciary backward so that only conservative Republican jurists, such as Neil Gorsuch, Brett Kavanaugh, and Amy Coney Barrett will serve on our federal courts, such as SCOTUS. Ditto the federal Courts of Appeal and District Courts.
It is a truth universally acknowledged that Republican politicians are afraid of Donald Trump.
It was Donald Trump, and only Donald Trump — not senator Ted Cruz (TP-Texas), not Missouri GOP senator Josh Hawley, not loudmouth Rudy Giuliani — who incited the deadly assault on the symbol of our democracy, the United States Capitol, on January 6.
Trump still held power on that day, and that’s not a technicality.
The House of Representatives, by then fully in place after the 2020 election, promptly passed an Article of Impeachment against Trump for inciting an insurrection. Made history, too, the only time somebody elected to the highest office in the land has been impeached twice.
Then the Trial was scheduled after Chuck Schumer became Majority Leader.
The House designated Impeachment Managers, including two outstanding Congresspeople from Colorado, Diana DeGette (your solitary reporter’s Congresswoman) and Joe Neguse (your solitary reporter held a funder for Joe in 2014, when Joe, now 35, ran for Secretary of State, only now Joe represents Boulder in Congress, and both Congressman Neguse and Congresswoman DeGette, the Dean of the Colorado Congressional delegation, made very articulate presentations, which were totally ignored by 43 Republican senators).
Yesterday, McConnell let it be known that he would vote to acquit Donald Trump; but before Joe Biden became our President, McConnell was notably uncooperative about scheduling the Second Trial of the Century.
So yesterday, seven Republican Senators voted along with Senators Bennet and Hickenlooper to convict Trump of a High Crime and Misdemeanor, only Mitch voted “Not Guilty.”
Then Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer gave a speech about what a terrible man Donald Trump is.
Immediately after that, Mitch McConnell gave a speech about what a terrible man Donald Trump is.
McConnell said he voted Not Guilty ‘cause Trump is no longer in office (see https://www.nytimes.com/2021/02/13/us/mcconnell-trump-impeachment-acquittal.html?referringSource=articleShare). 
Some people refer to that as a technicality.
But now, because forty-three Republican senators, none of whom has any backbone at all, voted “Not Guilty,” Donald Trump can run again in 2024.
And he will.
How do we know that? ‘Cause we just talked with associate solitary reporter Eddie Cook, the Chairman of the Republican Party of Denver.