Rand Paul, Who Blocked Anti-Lynching Legislation, Still Adores Donald Trump

On Wednesday, Donald Trump’s close personal seditious friends, including Rural Colorado GOP Congresswoman Lauren Boebert — who posted “1776" on her Whatever feed — yelled out, as they stormed the symbol of our representative democracy — “Hang Mike Pence” because he did his purely ceremonial job by certifying that sensible, moderate Democrat Joe Biden will be our next President.


And Trump has told Pence he doesn’t want to be his friend anymore.


What we here at AP do not understand at all is that Donald Trump has any sane friends.


So we tasked our most astute political researcher, associate solitary reporter Sylvia Kenwood, with researching the history of proposed

anti-lynching legislation.


Kenwood immediately learned that though House Democrats have proposed, and passed legislation treating lynching as a hate crime, it was, one, and only one, Republican senator, Rand Paul (TP-Kentucky), who stood in the way of its passage, after the House of Represenatives passed it (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Justice_for_Victims_of_Lynching_Act).


So we immediately dispatched our Chief Congressional Correspondent, associate solitary reporter Melissa Smith, to interrogate, and hold to account, senator Paul.


“Rand,” she began her rant, “you used to be an opthalmologist, but your total political ignorance makes you the only blind senator in Washington.”


“Melissa,” the junior senator from the Bluegrass State replied, "the only thing I know about you is that you are one of DNC Tom Perez' numerous pests. Now get out of my way so I can encourage all my Republican colleagues to continue opposing the anti-lynching law.”


“And by the way, Melissa, I totally agree with Donald Trump telling Pence that he doesn’t want to be his friend any more.”


“I’m with Trump all the way because he’s absolutely Right about the election being stolen from him."