In Which We Show That Ted Cruz Is In Love With Trumpism; Plus, What to Expect Tomorrow

The last two men left standing as they did their best to oppose Donald Trump in 2016 were John Kasich and Ted Cruz.

 

Kasich is a Republican, and he used to be the Governor of Ohio. 

 

The Republican National Convention in 2016 was held in the Quicken Loans Arena in Cleveland, a presumably blue city, much better known for its world-famous Rock ’n Roll Hall of Fame, but Kasich did not attend Trump’s coronation, smart man he.

 

Cruz is nominally a Republican, but here at AP we prefer to refer to him as senator Ted Cruz (Tea Party-Texas).

 

Ted is the junior senator from the Lone Star State. Canadian-born Ted doesn’t speak much Spanish, but former Congressman Beto O’Rourke, a Democrat who represented El Paso, and who ran for President in 2016, does.

 

Beto came very close to beating Ted when Ted ran for re-election.

 

The only TV that Trump watches is Fox News, which, today, reported on Cruz’ most recent stunt: Ted and some twelve other GOP senators have yielded to the Demands of their Lord and Master, Donald Trump, by objecting to fellow Republican Mike Pence’s purely ministerial act on June 6 of announcing the votes of the Members of the Electoral College (https://www.foxnews.com/politics/gop-senators-cruz-electoral-college-certification-audit) (Trump still thinks the Electoral College is part of Trump University); see also https://www.politico.com/news/2021/01/02/ted-cruz-electoral-college-challenge-453430.

 

The whole idea was started by Missouri’s extremely young junior senator, Josh Hawley, who used to be the Attorney General of the Show Me State.

 

Unbelievably, Hawley is a graduate of Yale Law School, and he clerked for Chief Justice John Roberts at the Supreme Court.

 

On the last day of the year we would all like to forget, we reported on Hawley’s plan to get Trump to appoint him to the Supreme Court (https://www.apocryphalpress.com/2020/12/31/boyish-josh-hawley-and-his-big-plan-to-get-on-the-supreme-court/).

 

But now Cruz and no fewer than twelve other GOP senators have jumped into the I Pretend to Love Donald Trump routine as well: on June 6 they’re going to demand a ten-day audit — all of which shows why Trump and trophy wife number three left lavishly opulent Mar-a-Lago early, skipping out on The Donald’s useless annual bash, with Rudy Giuliani and many others at Mar-a-Lago completely maskless — including Trump Junior and his girlfriend, redhot Kimberly Guilfoyle.

 

All of which shows, once again, as though we needed a reminder, that Donald Trump has taken over the Republican Party (now the Trumpian Party).

 

With an unprecedented amount of hutzpah, Cruz & Co. say they are not trying to make life difficult for Joe Biden and Kamala Harris.

 

That effort of the Dirty Dozen is separate from senator Hawley’s ploy, and Hawley says he expects every Republican in the Senate is morally required to join him.

 

The intent of Hawley, Cruz and Company is a transparent attempt to make Joe Biden’s life more and more miserable

(https://www.politico.com/news/2021/01/02/ted-cruz-electoral-college-challenge-453430).

 

‘Cause The Donald is One Sore Loser.

 

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On January 3, 2020, one of Trump’s drones took out Iran’s most powerful general, Qassim Suleimani, and Supreme Leader علی حسینی خامنه ای‎ (Ali Khamenei) vowed Revenge.

 

Moments ago, associate solitary reporter Johanna Jones texted us to say that tomorrow, the one-year anniversary of General Suleimani’s death in Baghdad, Trump will tell Acting Defense Secretary Christopher Miller to tell Fifth Fleet Commander John W. Miller (no relation), now operating in the Persian Gulf, to make a full scale attack on Teheran.

 

Jones added that Acting Secretary Miller told Commander Miller to nuke the bejesus out of علی حسینی خامنه ای‎