We’re getting close.
A friend of ours here in Denver has a clock on her front lawn showing how many days remain until Donald Trump leaves the White House, never to return (only that’s not what he has in mind).
During those few remaining days, Trump is very busy pardoning his pals. So far he’s pardoned convicted felons including Roger Stone, Paul Manafort, and former Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio.
Portly and gruff Chris Christie, Trump’s former 2016 primary opponent, former New Jersey Governor and, before that, the top federal prosecutor in the Garden State, put Son-in-Law-in-Chief Jared
Kushner’s father, Charles Kushner, in prison for having made illegal campaign contributions, for having committed tax evasion, and for witness tampering.
Jared’s dad therefore spent two years in federal prison, but Jared’s father-in-law granted him a full pardon six days ago.
Trump is by far the most corrupt man ever to sit behind the Resolute Desk in the White House.
His former fixer, Michael Cohen, is in prison for being Trump’s fixer.
Purely out of idle curiosity, we sent our best investigative reporter, associate solitary reporter Susanna Sherman, to visit Cohen at his lavish apartment in Manhattan. Sherman wanted to know
whether Cohen would ask his former client for a full pardon.
“Susanna,” Cohen began, "I have been waiting breathlessly for your call and your visit.”
“Donald Trump is a piece of crap and always has been. The least he can do is give me a full pardon, ‘cause I did all his dirty work including arranging for the hush money to Stormy Daniels and
“But I don’t expect that he will do anything at all for me, because when I testified against him in Congress I told the world what an obnoxious, criminally racist man he is.”
Sherman immediately contacted associate solitary reporter Johanna Jones, who never leaves Trump’s side.
When Jones asked Trump if he has plans to pardon Cohen, the language he used cannot be used in this family-friendly apocryphal newspaper.