Yesterday, the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) and twenty-four Democratic State Attorneys General (and 26 attorneys general who are totally dedicated to Donald Trump — especially Texas AG Ken Paxton (see https://www.apocryphalpress.com/2020/12/08/texas-corrupt-ag-wants-to-run-against-biden-in-2024-further-adventures-of-michael-flynn/)), filed an antitrust suit against Mark Zuckerberg & Co., otherwise known as Facebook.
It is a truth universally acknowledged that at 36, the boyish
Zuckerberg — skillfully portrayed in David Fincher’s hit 2010 film, The Social Network, by Jesse Eisenberg — is one of the world’s most notorious monopolists.
Mark’s almost as rich as Jeff Bezos, and because of that, his young butt has been hauled in to Congress more than once to testify as to why his Facebook should not be broken up into several tiny little pieces and otherwise tightly regulated.
And right now, Donald Trump — you know, the guy who don’t know nothin’ 'bout Covid19 — even though he presides over The Nation of Covidia — is intent on going after Facebook’s monopolistic
practices — which may be one of the very very few halfway decent things he’s done since that abysmal day, January 20, 2017.
One of the Democratic Attorneys General who signed on to the suit, along with the FTC, is Colorado’s Rock Star AG, Phil Weiser, a friend of your solitary reporter.
Weiser won a tough primary in 2018 and he won a tough general election fight against Arapahoe County District Attorney George Brauchler, known far and wide in the anti-death penalty community for seeking the death penalty in the Aurora Movie Theatre Massacre case (the mentally ill defendant in that case is confined for the rest of his putrid life in a prison not located in Colorado).
Yesterday, Weiser was on Judy Woodruff’s PBS NewsHour, explaining why he and 23 other Democratic Attorneys General decided to go after Zuckerberg & Co.
According to our Chief Judicial Correspondent, associate solitary reporter Sally Bayfield Cotton, as soon as the Weiser/FTC antitrust suit against Zuckerberg is filed, Chief Justice John Roberts — no dummy he — will assign it to newbie Justice Amy Coney Barrett.
Chief Justice Roberts whispered into ASR Cotton’s ear — on the telephone of course — that “Amy’s supernew, Sally, and you know what that means. That just means that she needs a big big case to sink her teeth into.”
“And I know full well that Amy is very pro-business, so she’ll likely rule in Zuckerberg’s favor before Christmas; but I am a very persuasive Chief Justice — after all, I’m the dude who has saved the Affordable Care Act so far — so I’ll make sure that before Christmas, we wil order, eight to one, that Zuckerberg will lose that lawsuit, even though the actual trial may not take place til near the end of Biden’s second term."
But the FTC has a big big problem: it’s short of the Congressional financial support which it will surely need in its suit agaisnt Facebook (https://www.politico.com/news/2020/12/10/ftc-cash-facebook-lawsuit-444468).
But associate solitary reporter Keith Coleman is an expert on how the federal government works, and he is very close to Speaker Nancy Pelosi.
Coleman tells us that Pelosi has put, at the top of her agenda in January, to see to it that the FTC will have all the support staff it needs to go after Facebook.