In Which We Concisely Explain Why Rudy Is Fully Confident that He'll Be Pardoned by You Know Who

Rudy Giuliani’s 76, and he hasn’t changed at all, especially since he’s been Donald Trump’s so-called lawyer.


Rudy’s a New Yorker (believe it or not, he, like Trump, was once a Democrat); and many New Yorkers, like Giuliani and Trump,

are —  well — crass and grandiose; when somebody criticizes them, because they’re so thin-skinned, they just lash out. It’s in their DNA. Whatever social skills Rudy and his client have are strictly reserved for occasions when they feel like being nice.


Rudy is Trump’s personal lawyer, and, soon after Election Day, Trump tasked him with saving his job, which means that he charges ahead, wherever he is, like a bull in a china shop, and yells about his and his client’s deranged theories of voting fraud; and, as every day goes by, Rudy’s BS keeps piling up, higher and higher and higher. Pretty soon now, that pile of BS is going to fall right on Rudy and make a big big mess. And the last person who will clean up that mess is Donald Trump.


Recently, Rudy was in Michigan (one of the states Trump won in 2016 by a relative handful of votes, but Joe Biden won in 2020 — because in 2016, Trump, the consummate Con Man, whipped up the anger of lots of Michiganders who had lost their jobs to other countries; so there’s Rudy in a legislative hearing in Lansing, stirring up trouble as always, and he immediately said, just like his client, that Biden’s win over Trump in 2020 in the Wolverine State — the margin was 154,188 — was all because of a rigged system).


And a Michigan legislator asked Rudy about rumors that he’s already asked his client for a full and complete pardon (remember, President Gerald Ford issued a “full and complete pardon” for Richard Nixon).


Rudy erupted and told the Chairman of the committee that the legislator had defamed him (


So we asked associate solitary reporter Sam Zundberg, Colorado’s leading attorney specializing in defamation suits, whether he would represent Rudy in a defamation suit against the legislator who so irritated him.


“Not a chance, I have dozens of cases that are ever so much more meritorious than Rudy’s.”


“By the way,” Zundberg continued, "Rudy should be prosecuted. No question about it.”


In other news, as closely observed by our Chief Congressional Correspondent, associate solitary reporter Mellisa Smith, while PBS’ NewHour’s Judy Woodruff was interviewing former presidential candidate Mitt Romney today, and as Romney was appropriately criticizing Trump’s preposterous lies about rigged elections, all of a sudden, but as noticed only by Smith, Romney announced to the world that he’s going to run against Trump during primary season in 2024.