After Pardoning Flynn, Trump Bails on Visit to Food Pantry, Spends the Night at his Tower, in Gotham, Without Melania

As predicted many months ago by the entirety of our fabulous team of associate solitary reporters, our Turkey-in-Chief, Donald Trump, pardoned Michael Flynn today.


He also pardoned a Thanksgiving Turkey — but only one.


And of course, he did it with numerous cameras filming the traditional Eve of Thanksgiving Event.


The Pardoning of Flynn was done via Twitter (of course).


We asked associate solitary reporter Johanna Jones, who is with Trump 24/7, if Trump tweeted Flynn’s pardon from a golf course, but she said no.


This morning, NPR reporters visited a food pantry in (probably) New York City. Our crack team of NPR sleuths (led by intrepid associate solitary reporter Anthony Kent, who invented the iPad) has not yet gotten back to us to locate the post at, but that’s ok.


Because of Covid, the line at the food pantry was very long; and staff was very patient, enforcing physical distancing (something Trump never practices).


ASR Jones accompanied Trump on Air Force One (a subsidiary of Trump Airlines in Trump’s fantasies) as they visited the food pantry.


But Trump did not go to the pantry; instead, he went to his Tower.


Trump doesn’t like poor people unless they (1) have attended all of his maskless rallies (2) were part of his Pre-Election Army.


In other news, our DC-based associate solitary reporter, Keith Coleman, visited Trump’s first of several National Security Advisors, General Flynn, at his home.


“Keith,” Flynn yelled, after Coleman offered him his elbow, without saluting, “get out of here, no cameras, no talk, no nuthin’.”


"Just tell the solitary reporter and Tom Perez at the DNC — before he moves into Bill Barr’s office next year — that I just got off the phone with my hero, Mr. Trump, who promised me that on Saturday morning, Barr will have Jeff Sessions arrested for failing to recuse himself from the totally fake Russia Investigation Witchhunt.”