Trump's Defense Secretary Refuses Order to Glorify Two White Former Marines

Things couldn’t be more boring these days.


In the midst of a global pandemic which Donald Trump is essentially ignoring, and while protests against police violence directed against Black people continue, we are confronted with the Fact that some 13 white men have been charged in a plot to kidnap Michigan Gov. Gretchen Whitmer, a Democrat who was considered by Joe Biden as his running mate.


Two of those charged are men who have served in the Marines (


According to associate solitary reporter Johanna Jones, who never leaves Trump’s side, as soon as Trump learned that two of those charged are former Marines, he immediately ordered his Defense Secretary, Mark Esper, to make arrangements for the two, Joseph Morrison and Daniel Harris, to receive the Presidential Medal of Freedom.


Our Chief Investigative Reporter, associate solitary reporter Susanna Sherman, was with Esper when he received Trump’s phone call.


“But Sir,” Esper said, “you’ve already conferred the Medal of Freedom on Rush Limbaugh.”


“With all respect, Sir, I doubt that even Limbaugh would approve of such a thing — though, come to think of it, Sir, he probably would. So, Sir, I won’t recommend any such thing for Joseph Morrison and Daniel Harris.”


Trump then erupted into one of his typical meltdowns.


Trump's physician, Dr. Sean Conley, rushed in, and promptly told Trump that, contrary to what he’s been saying publicly, under no circumstances can Trump go to Florida tomorrow for a massless rally, because he’s got COVID-19, and that during a meltdown, his Covid infection makes things even more dangerous.


Jones was, of course, wearing a facial mask, as was Dr. Conley, but Trump was not.