Moscow Mitch Flees to Putin's Arms

As we reported on Saturday, Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-NY) has demanded that Moscow Mitch McConnell fully staff an Emergency Room on the floor of the United States Senate when Moscow Mitch brings Donald Trump’s nominee to succeed the Late Great RMG to the floor of the Senate, ‘cause there’s gonna be lotsa blood on the floor (


See also


Moscow Mitch, the senior senator from the Bluegress State, is only a few days younger than your solitary reporter.


Our DC-based associate solitary reporter, Keith Coleman, was in the Cowboy State yesterday with Wyoming’s junior senator, Dr. John Barrasso, formerly an orthopedic surgeon.


CNN’s Erin Burnett interviewed Dr. Barrasso today about Moscow Mitch’s hypocrisy (


Dr. Barrasso told ASR Coleman that he’s ready and able to staff the ER for McConnell, but that he’ll treat only Republicans.


Ditto for Dr. Bill Cassidy (R-Louisiana) and Dr. Rand Paul (TP-Kentucky).


Addison Mitchell McConnell is better best known as Moscow Mitch ‘cause his close personal friend Donald Trump — who only got himself to the Peoples’ White House ‘cause of Vladimir Putin — The Donald’s gonna announce in a mere five days that he’s nominating a wimmin to succeed The Late Justice Ginsburg on the Supreme Court.


Associate solitary reporter Lewis Thompson III has been camped out at the Denver office of Colorado’s junior senator, Cory Gardner, a Republican, ever since the news broke Friday evening that Justice Ginsburg died.


Gardner, from Yuma, Colorado, on the Centennial State’s Eastern Plains, had the temerity in 2014 to defeat Mark Udall, a good Democrat and a really good environmentalist. Udall is from the Famed Udall Family, and he lives in Eldorado Springs, Colorado, in Boulder County.


Gardner did that because he’s younger than Udall and because he smiles better than Sen. Udall ever did.


Gardner, a chipmunk disguised as a politician, will vote for Trump's nominee, this year.


Thompson is the Moderator of the Unitarian Universalist

Association — which has offices in the warehouse district of

Boston — but he runs the UUA from his home office in Denver.


Thompson is a Democrat.


senator Gardner will surely lose his bid for re-election on November 3 to former Denver Mayor and former Colorado Governor John Hickenlooper, who lives in your solitary reporter’s Precinct.


Hyper-conservative SCOTUS Justice Antonin Scalia woke up dead in Texas on February 13, 2016 in his room at the Cibolo Creek Ranch in Shafter, Texas, after going quail hunting (but he was not hunting for former VP Dan Quayle).


McConnell immediately announced that — knowing full well that Hillary Clinton would win the Popular Vote in 2016 and thus become our forty-fifth President — that, to cut to the chase, Mitch wouldn’t allow President Obama’s nominee to succeed Justice Scalia — The Honorable Merrick Garland, Judge of the United States Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia (from which RBG came) even a Hearing. 


Nada, Niente, Nichts, Rien.


With Trump sure to be defeated on November 3, now Moscow Mitch insists on confirming Trump’s nominee quick quick.


Our Chief Congressional Correspondent, associate solitary reporter Melissa Smith, received a text from McConnell a mere five minutes ago, telling her that, knowing full well that he’ll lose his job on November 3 to war pilot Amy McGrath, that Putin has given him asylum in his Kremlin.