One Day After He Finished His Rantathon at the RNC, Trump Falls Flat on His Face in Faraway New Hampshire

As some of our dedicated readers might be aware, your solitary reporter owns property in northern New Hampshire.


The Granite State has many favorable aspects, including remarkable scenery in the Lakes Region and in the White Mountains.


New Hampshire is a small state, with only four Electoral College votes.


In 2016, Donald Trump lost New Hampshire to Hillary Clinton, but the margin was only 2,736 votes, out of a total of 694,316, which is why yesterday, Trump conducted a totally Trumpian rally in the southeastern part of the state, not very far from the Manchester-Boston Regional Airport.


Facemasks were encouraged via a public address system, but when that polite request was made, the crowd booed — we’re talking about the Live Free or Die State — and New Hampshire’s Republican Governor, Chris Sununu, had said in advance that he sensibly stays away from large crowds, which is why he wasn’t there (


Trump’s rally was held in a small town called Londonderry, outside an airplane hangar.


Londonderry is in Rockingham County, one of ten counties in New Hampshire. Your solitary reporter’s vacation home is in Carroll County, in the White Mountains.


Although the Trump Campaign made dozens of frantic phone calls to your solitary reporter, seeking to rent the solitary reporter’s summer home in Chocorua, for the event, your SR steadfastly refused — had he done so, his many friends in Carroll County would have disowned him.


As always, DNC Chair Tom Perez’ White House mole, associate solitary reporter Johanna Jones, was with Trump.


During his four-day rantathon this past week, Trump had, relatively speaking, stayed on message (


But yesterday, he told his jubilant crowd that he would wing it.


So then our Xenophobe-in-Chief launched into his usual parade of lies.


That’s when ASR Jones, out of sight of the Secret Service, confronted Trump, as she has done very effectively many times, and she unequivocally told him that he is by far the most mendacious man ever to sit in the Oval Office; but that so enraged Trump that he turned apoplectic and promptly fell face down on the tarmac.


Always at the ready, Jones videotaped the event, but when the Secret Service finally caught up with her, they took her directly to the New Hampshire State Prison for Women, located at 42 Perimeter Road, in Concord, where she will be quarantined for fourteen days.


As she was being led in shackles to 42 Perimeter Road, her guards were thrilled to hear her sing in a perfect soprano that Donald Trump is always, always at the perimeter of everything.