Trump Says CNN Report on Asteroid's Visit to Earth on November 2 is Fake News

Things are really, really borning these days. Nothing ever happens. Nada, niente, rien, nichts.


The moment associate solitary reporter Lewis Thompson III — the very moderate Moderator of the Unitarian Universalist Association — awoke this morning, he noticed that the measly third item on CNN’s front page was that NASA tells us that on November 2, the day before all fifty states and all our very numerous Territories will tell Donald Trump that he’s fired, an asteroid will be very, very close to Terra Firma, and that it might even visit us: ”Oh, great: NASA says an asteroid is headed our way right before Election Day,"


NASA keeps track of trivial things like this, and it’s known about it for a while now. The cute cute name of this celestial object is 2018VP1.


As soon as Trump’s Chief of Staff, former Congressman Mark Meadows (TP-North Carolina) told Trump about the asteroid story, Trump tweeted that it was Fake News, because it came from CNN, therefore it must be untrue.


But before that, the top of the fold story from CNN was all about how Donald Trump’s older sister, Judge Maryanne Trump Barry, is ever so much smarter than he is: 


Donald Trump claims credit for Everything. He says it’s only because of him (uh, er, ah, Him) that his Big Sis got that job on the federal appellate court that produced hyperconservative SCOTUS Justice Samuel Alito. 


But the good judge doesn’t think little bro is in the least temperate, and the WaPo broke the story first. Read all about it.


Then, we learned that in Peru — a nation to which Donald Trump undoubtedly refers in words which we are not allowed to use in this family-friendly online newspaper, in unkind words — anyway, to cut to the chase, authorities in Lima were trying to break up a nightclub crowd that was violating rules about physical distancing:, and thirteen people were killed in the ensuing stampede.


Not only that, we learned that the RNC hasn’t the faintest idea how to put on a virtual convention:


Too bad life is so totally boring these days. Ho-hum. Time to take a

nap — something Trump never does.