How Newly Minted Associate Solitary Reporter Tim Gonzalez Will Help President Biden Save the USPS

Donald Trump is hell-bent on eviscerating the U S Postal Service. 


As we here at AP have previously reported, he’s never read the Constitution, because he thinks he is above our Sacred Document.


But that’s not how Thomas Jefferson and the other Founders saw it. The Postal Clause is in our Constitution: Article I, Section 8, Clause 7: Congress shall “establish Post Offices and Post Roads.”


Today, the USPS has 633,108 employees, but the Postmaster General is Louis DeJoy, a Trump campaign bundler with no background in running such a massive and essential organization.


And Trump has brazenly admitted that in trying to destroy the agency (which is supposed to be independent) it will assist his frantic and flailing effort to hang on to his job.


So why did he request a mail-in ballot so he can vote at his exclusive Mar-a-Lago Resort (


For a man whose only theoretical qualification for his present job is running his Trump Organization (a private entity), and whose claim to notoriety is being a rich businessman, it’s no surprise that he wants to mess bigly with the USPS and privatize it.


So we asked Denver’s Best Letter Carrier, associate solitary reporter Tim Gonzalez, what he plans to do once Joe Biden takes office as our President.


“SR,” he began, "I talked with Joe this morning, as well as with your Congresswoman, Diana DeGette, and my Congressman, Jason Crow. Though I have mixed feelings about leaving Aurora, and moving to an exceptionally humid climate, which is a Swamp, I’m going to do it for The Cause.”


“Joe said he will persuade the Board of Governors of the USPS to dismiss DeJoy on January 21, and he’ll appoint me as the Chair of the Postal Regulatory Commission, which oversees postal rates.”


“In this Trump Era, when every mention of regulation draws boos, Joe and I are going to bring pragmatic, sensible regulation back to our essential Post Office."