Our Swiss-Based Associate Solitary Reporter on How the Swiss View Trump

On January 20, 2017, only a few dozen angry, mostly white people wearing MAGA hats on our National Mall watched Donald Trump, in words written for him by his Top Xenophobic Assistant, Stephen Miller, say he didn’t give a hoot about what other nations think of us.


That’s because Trump cares only about himself and his immediate family and his lucre.


Instead of filling top positions in his so-called administration, he has continually left hundreds of top positions unfilled, which is why the Times' Jennifer Senior wrote yesterday that his administration is made of Swiss Cheese (https://www.nytimes.com/2020/05/10/opinion/trump-cabinet-coronavirus.html?referringSource=articleShare).


So we contacted our Zurich-based associate solitary reporter, Bob Dinwoodie, for his views on how people in historically neutral Switzerland view the man with the Cheeto thing on his head.


“SR,” Dinwoodie said, “we here in the German-speaking parts of Switzerland enjoy our Emmenthaler, which is one of the varieties of cheese which we savor here.”


“More importantly,” Dinwoodie — who has a post-doc in Advanced Nutrition and Human Physiology -- continued, “we are very aware that Swiss Cheese cartilage dysplasia, also kown as Kniest Dysplasia, is a rare form of dwarfism caused by a mutation in the COL2A1 gene on chromosome 12.”


“Everyone here in Switzerland, especially my close personal friend Ueli Maurer, a Member of our Federal Council, speaks on a daily basis about how Dwarfism characterizes the governing style of the so-called Trump administration, which will be leaving Trump’s Swamp on January 20.”


“Just as there is no cure for Swiss Cheese Cartilage Dysplasia, there is no cure for Trumpism until Joe Biden and Amy Klobuchar are sworn in on January 20, with Trump being closely watched by the Secret Service in case he’ll be tempted to sneeze or cough while he’s standing right behind the new Vice President and the new President.”


Our Chief International Correspondent, associate solitary reporter Larry Theis, reached out to Antonio Guterres of Portugal, the Secretary General of the UN, for his comments on Dinwoodie’s text.


Guterres, a well seasoned diplomat, smiled.