Yesterday, at Hard Rock Field in Miami Gardens, in the Sunshine State, Clark Hunt’s Kansas City American football team came from behind in the fourth quarter to win the Vince Lombardi Trophy.
It was Super Bowl LIV, but Donald Trump never learned the Latin numerological system, so associate solitary reporter Johanna Jones had to tell him, "Sir, that was Super Bowl Number Fifty-Four."
At which point Trump told Jones to leave him alone and go speak to Trophy Wife Number Three in Slovene.
The victory made Mr. Hunt and his very wealthy family very happy.
His football team’s happy players doused their Head Coach, mustachioed Andy Reid, with Gatoraid before the game was even over.
The winning quarterback was telegenic Patrick Mahomes.
The losing team had been favored, and they are based in California somewhere south of San Francisco.
The Speaker of the House of Representatives is Nancy Pelosi, and her home is in San Francisco, but Nancy was not in Miami Gardens. Instead, she was doing her best to straighten out Donald Trump’s doodoos.
Our Chief Sports correspondent, associate solitary reporter John Anderson, was in Miami Gardens, observing the game in the booth with San Francisco 49ers owner John York. Anderson had predicted a win for York’s team.
At kickoff, Hunt’s team bore the name "Kansas City Chiefs."
ASR Anderson and many other sports writers distinctly heard Hunt say, during the presentation of the Vince Lombardi Trophy, “This great nation of ours has seen a lot of changes. So, friends, the time has come to change the name of the Kansas City Chiefs to the Kansas City Democrats!”
"We here in the Hunt Family are doing this to honor the late, great President Harry Truman, a Democrat who succeeded FDR and who helped us win World War Two, who came from humble origins in Independence, just east of Kansas City."
"And the Hunt Family are mega-donors to the Harry Truman Presidential Library in Independence."
"Our country has essentially lost its independence under Donald Trump, because the man knows nothing about how to win anything except the loud, loud cheers he gets at his mega-rallies."
Hunt was immediately booed by all the Republicans in the stadium.
Watching from Washington, Missouri’s junior senator, Republican Josh Hawley, immediately called Hunt to express his very strong opinion that once a huge business enterprise takes a name, the name should never be changed unless its wealthy owner wants to do so.
When Hawley called Hunt, Missouri’s senior senator, Roy Blunt, who is one of Mitch McConnell’s lieutenants, was on the phone, and he slapped Hawley on the back to express his approval.
Ditto for Missouri governor Mike Parson, also a Republican. Parson was GOP governor Eric Greitens' lieutenant governor, and when Greitens resigned in disgrace over allegations of invasion of privacy and an extra-marital affair, Parson became governor.