Putin: "I've got Trump's back, all the way"

Donald Trump, our Denier-in-Chief, has been conducting a bromance with Russian President Vladimir Putin for a long time.


Trump denies he’s ever done anything in the least wrong at any time in his long life.


He denies that Putin interfered in our 2016 election, when all the evidence is way, way to the contrary.


Trump has a ferocious ally in the Senate, and his name is Mitch McConnell. McConnell is just as savvy in running his Senate as LBJ was.


Because of their bromance, Putin has now come to Trump’s aid on the impeachment issue: Putin says that Trump’s been impeached on trumped-up charges (https://www.politico.eu/article/vladimir-putin-says-us-president-donald-trump-wont-be-impeached-on-trumped-up-charges/).


Only moments ago, our Moscow-based associate solitary reporter, Foma Kheroshonsky, sat down with Putin.


“Foma,” Putin began,  "you know that I am really good at pulling Trump’s strings.”


Kheroshonsky nodded in the affirmative.


“So now, let me explain how I’m going to save Trump’s butt in the Senate.”


“They don’t call McConnell 'Moscow Mitch’ for no reason.”


“And since my hackers are so effective, there is no way that a Democrat will win the presidency in November."


Having obtained all the information he needed, Kheroshonsky excused himself and went back to his apartment to watch CNN.