Rudy's Thanksgiving

Donald Trump’s personal lawyer, Rudy Giuliani, thinks he’s a kingmaker and power broker on a par with his client.


He used to be known as “America’s Mayor,” but now his star has dimmed. Read all about it at


He made a deal with Ukraine’s corrupt top prosecutor, Yuri Lutsenko, in which Rudy would represent Lutsenko in some sort of hair-brained scheme to recover “lost Ukrainian assets” before Trump’s Justice Department, for $200,000.


Rudy is being investigated by the Southern District of New York, which is theoretically subordinate to Trump’s other personal lawyer, Attorney General William Barr, only the SDNY actually is independent.


So we sent our top investigative reporter, associate solitary reporter Susanna Sherman, to find out where Rudy’s spending the Thanksgiving holiday.


That was one of ASR Sherman’s easiest assignments.


Earlier today, rather than watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, she walked into Trump Tower, accompanied by House Intel Chair Adam Schiff, curtseyed to the doorman and the concierge, asked where she could find Rudy, and was politely (though skeptically, since Schiff was with her) directed to the penthouse suite, where the Trump Family lives.


Rudy was vaping, and was just coming down from his vape high.


When he saw Sherman and Schiff barging in to his private suite, he couldn’t immediately press the hidden button to summon Trump’s security guards, but Schiff and Sherman had already anticipated that Rudy would do just that.


In the twinkling of an eye, they seized Giuliani’s laptop, which contains extensive details of his business dealings in Ukraine, including Lutsenko’s agreement to pay him $200,000. They also found, in the laptop, evidence of Rudy’s plans to take over Ukraine’s government monopoly of natural gas so he could further increase his personal wealth.


They also found Giuliani’s plan to fabricate evidence that Joe Biden, while still Vice President, planned to make Ukraine the least corrupt nation in the world — something that would have guaranteed that Biden would easily win the Democratic Party’s nomination to run against Trump.


Sherman and Schiff had no trouble evading capture by Trump’s security guards, as they parachuted to the sidewalk below, where they were cheered by Mayor Bill de Blasio, Governor Andrew Cuomo, and DNC Chair Tom Perez.