What You Didn't Want to Know About Donald Trump's Posterior

Anybody who doesn't realize that Donald Trump is both a physically imposing man, and a bigtime loudmouth, has not been tuned into, well, anything recently.


In TrumpWorld, everything that Trump does or says is always done very loudly and most obnoxiously.


It is our moral, political, and theological duty to tell our readers everything about Trump that’s fit to print, plus a lot that isn’t.


Yesterday and Wednesday, the House Impeachment Inquiry, led very capably by Chair Adam Schiff (D-California) —  before the Inquiry moves to the House Judiciary Committee to prepare Articles of

Impeachment —  heard compelling testimony from Trump’s Acting Ambassador to Ukraine, William Taylor, and, yesterday, from the Ambassador to Ukraine whom Trump abruptly fired in May — Marie Yovanovich.


Also yesterday, David Holmes, a Foreign Service Officer assigned to our Embassy in Kyiv, testified that he heard a very, very loud Donald Trump on a cell phone call with Ambassador (to the EU) Gordon Sondland.


That call took place at a restaurant.


A restaurant, where all sorts of Russian spies or thugs could have heard it; or spies from Uzbekistan, for all we know.


Go figure.


Trump wanted to know if the then newly-elected Ukrainian President, Volodymyr Zelensky, was willing to do Trump’s bidding and order an investigation into both Hunter and Joe Biden, for the sole purpose of giving Trump dirt on Joe Biden (https://www.cnn.com/2019/11/15/politics/holmes-testimony-sondland-call/index.html).


This is how Sondland explained it to Trump: he said “[Zelensky] loves your ass.”


We here at AP hadn’t really devoted any thought whatsoever to the attractiveness vel non of Trump’s posterior.


So that left us really puzzled — because who in the world thinks that there is anything in the least attractive about any aspect of The Donald’s physiognomy?


Then it came out that Sondland authoritatively said that "he [Trump does] not give a s___ about Ukraine."


Our Chief International Correspondent, associate soitary reporter Larry Theis, says that Zelensky might as well seek asylum in the White House.