Finally, we’re off to the races.
Donald Trump, who considers himself to be The Chosen One, has steadfastly resisted every single effort by Adam Schiff & Co. to find out what he’s been doing, as he jeopardizes our national security and risks increasingly broken relationships with our long-time allies in Europe, South Korea, and Japan.
So today, 232 Democrats in the House, and former Republiclan Congressman Justin Amash, an Independent, voted to start impeachment proceedings.
Two Democrats, both of whom represent Congressional Districts that Trump carried in 2016, voted no, but all the Republicans voted
no -- no surprise there.
The proceedings were, of course, covered by our Chief Congressional Correspondent, associate solitary reporter Melissa Smith, who was visibly irritated by all the claptrap emanating from Congressman Tom Cole (R-Oklahoma), the Ranking Member of the House Rules Committee, and his carefully chosen colleagues.
Like associate solitary reporter Johanna Jones, who is with Trump 24/7, ASR Smith is African American, and very smart. They are both distinguished graduates of the Apocryphal Press School of Journalism.
Associate solitary reporters cover events which are never covered by the mainstream media — which is why, after Speaker Nancy Pelosi gavelled the proceedings to a close, Smith was the only reporter who covered Trump’s next stunt, which was a typical mega-rally for his base, right there in the Capitol, in the House Chamber.
House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy (R-California) ushered Trump & Entourage into the House chamber, where he had hastily arranged a Trump rally so that Fox & Friends could televise it.
The House chamber has plenty of room for 435 Members of Congress, and aides, but when the rally started, it was standing room only, as Trumpistas, all veterans of Trump’s hate-filled rallies, occupied every square inch of space, causing great concern to Serjeant-at-Arms Paul Irving, who was worried about Trump’s megafans trampling each other.
“Everybody in the Democrat Party,” Trump yelled, as he stood on the Speaker’s chair, foaming at the mouth, “all they wanna do is get rid of me, but that’s not gonna happen, because my call to Zelensky was perfect, and that Anti-Trumper, Vindman, who testified yesterday, and whom I have never met, and whom I’m firing from my National Security Council staff, he was lying when he testified behind closed doors before that clown, Adam Schiff.”
But ASR Smith also noticed that Hakeem Jeffries, the Chair of the House Democratic Caucus, remained in the chamber.
As soon as Trump finished the first three minutes of his fifty-five minute rant, Congressman Jeffries walked to Trump’s perch, grabbed the mic, and pointedly told Trump, “Sir, you and Melania were at the World Series on Monday, and you were booed, and because you were there, the Washington Nationals lost, but yesterday, they won, and they are now the champions, and they won because you weren’t there, which made it much easier for them to concentrate.”
On Monday, we posted a full report on Trump’s presence at Nationals Park (https://www.apocryphalpress.com/2019/10/28/associate-solitary-reporter-keith-coleman-explains-why-the-washington-nationals-lost-yesterday-in-the-world-series/).
Trump spewed his customary venom on Jeffires, reserving an extra amount of hatred for Jeffries, because Jeffries' first name is noticeably Islamic, though Jeffries is a Baptist.
But Jeffries kept his cool, even as Trump was yelling for the Capitol Police to haul Jeffries away.
Jeffries and ASR Smith then visited DNC Chair Tom Perez, and the three of them met with Pelosi and Schiff to plot their next moves.