Wales Declares Independence, and Boris Is In A Real Ditch

Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson, Theresa May’s successor as Prime Minister, said he’d rather die in a ditch than beg the European Union for yet another Brexit extension.


He didn’t die today, but he did what he said he wouldn’t do, namely, ask the sensible leaders in Brussels for more time — because Parliament, with its numerous contending parties, simply has not been able to figure out how to agree on anything.


Johnson didn’t have a choice, but he immediately denounced the very extension he had to ask for, saying that further delay would be “corrosive.”


How ironic, as he has been more than corrosive of the Kingdom’s politics. His colleagues in Parliament do not trust him ( 


As a result, the UK is increasingly isolated, because it’s anything but united.


Naturally, associate solitary reporter Danielle Packwood skillfully reported to us as to the current goings-on as only she can see things:


In Cardiff, Wales, Lord Dafydd Wynne Wigley, the Honorary President of Plaid Cymru, the Welsh Nationalist Party, declared independence from Her Majesty’s Kingdom.


Digon yw digon,” Lord Wigley said, "byddwn ni gymaint yn well ein byd o fynd ar ein pennau ein hunain.” (“Enough is enough. We’ll be ever so much better off going it alone.”)


“Prime Minister, this saddens me greatly,” Queen Elizabeth II said, as Johnson prostrated himself before Her Majesty in a vain attempt to receive forgiveness for having broken the law by advising her to prorogue Parliament.


“But, Prime Minister, this is what you must do to redeem yourself: you must seek a new referendum, in which my subjects will resoundingly undo their stupidity from 2016, when they voted to leave our friends in Europe.”


Chagrined, Johnson backed out quickly from the Royal Presence and threw himself into the nearest ditch.