Why The Trump Organization Has Just Acquired R J Reynolds & Co.; Trump Sends Mulvaney to Kyev As His Ambassador to Ukraine

Donald Trump, the King of Emoluments, has announced that the next meeting of the G-7 will be held in the United States.


In Doral, Florida, where he has one of his many golf courses.


That’s in Miami-Dade County, in the Sunshine State, which is grossly overpopulated, with much of it in serious danger of being covered by water before the end of this century.


His golf resort there is only a mile away from Miami’s airport.


All this made us pause a moment to remember that Doral is also a brand of cigarettes, made by R J Reynolds & Co., a firm which is responsible for a great many deaths from cancer.


So we sent our top-notch sleuth, associate solitary reporter Susanna Sherman, to the Trump International Doral Golf Course, to make sure that Doral cigarettes are offered there, free of course, to visiting heads of state at the G-7, and their numerous retainers, so they can continue on their onward paths to an agonizing death by cancer.


Sherman spoke with Miami-Dade County Commissisoner Esteban Bovo, a Republican (and, therefore, a Trumpian) to ask why Trump is violating the Emoluments Clause of our Constitution by hosting world leaders at one of his numerous resorts.


Bovo yelled at Sherman, “Es ilegal cuestionar cualquier cosa que diga Trump” ("It’s illegal to question anything that Trump says"), and told his Miami-Dade County Solid Waste workers to take Sherman to the South Dade Landfill so she can rummage through the trash there, reflect on it, and report back to him, but only in Spanish.


Bovo also told ASR Sherman that because Trump is a businessman whose only interest is in enriching himself, the Trump Organization has acquired R J Reynolds & Co., so that Doral cigarettes will be part of the Trump Brand.


In other news, Trump tweeted today that he’s recalled his Ambassador to Ukraine, William Taylor, and replaced him with Acting Chief of Staff Mick Mulvaney.


That’s because Trump is not happy with how Mulvaney, at a press conference yesterday, answered White House reporters’ questions about his quid pro quo interactions with Ukraine’s president, Volodymyr Zelensky (https://www.politico.com/news/2019/10/18/mick-mulvaney-press-briefing-050855), by saying “Of course we asked Zelensky to dig up dirt on the Bidens, that’s how we in the Administration do stuff. Get over it!"