Lavrov in Ankara with Pence, Pompeo, and Erdogan

Former Indiana conservative talk show host Mike Pence and former Wichita Tea Party Congressman Mike Pompeo met today with Turkey’s dictator, Recep Tayyip Erdogan.


Pence brought with him a letter from Donald Trump, but Erdogan showed his disgust for Trump by tossing it in the trash.


Trump is notoriously difficult to be with, as Nancy Pelosi and Steny Hoyer would be the first to acknowledge; even Trump ally Lindsey Graham would agree.


Pence and Pompeo didn’t want to be in Ankara for their scheduled ten minute meeting with Erdogan, but the meeting turned out to be an hour long, according to NPR. The meeting was made necessary by Trump’s unilateral decision to let Turkey’s military wipe out the Kurds in northern Syria. 


Trump has scolded Erdogan for being a bad guy by not pulling his military back to Turkey, but that ain’t gonna happen.


Our chief international correspondent, associate solitary reporter Larry Theis, who is fluent in Turkish and Russian, was in the room with Erdogan, Pence, and Pompeo, when Vladimir Putin’s Foreign Minister, Sergei Lavrov, walked in. Theis was the only one in the room not to be surprised that Lavrov was there.


“Mr. Pence,” Lavrov began, “I’ve always known that Trump is our not so secret friend — but by letting our soldiers work with Assad’s thugs to retake Kurdish-held territory in Syria, Trump has earned even more cred with Leader Putin than before.”


“I am happy to inform you, Mike,” Lavrov continued, “that as soon as Mr. Trump wants to build a Trump Resort anywhere in Russia, he won’t have to pay any bribes, as he usually does.”


“We’ll even let Trump put one of his unnessary resorts in Tartus, the Syrian port on the Mediterranean that we control,” Lavrov continued, "even though Assad will try to prevent that, but we control Assad, always have.”


Pompeo is bigger than Lavrov, and he was seriously tempted to slug him, but Pence intervened by reminding Pompeo that he’s supposed to turn the other cheek.


Happier than ever, Lavrov announced that Putin will annex Greenland, just to rub it into Trump even more.