Full Details on McConnell's Plan to Nix Impeachment Trial

Yesterday, in Denver, at the absurdly named Empower Field at Mile High, there were 26 reasons why the Jacksonville Jaguars should prevail over the hapless (0-4) Denver Broncos, but only 24 reasons why the Broncos should win.


According to our Denver-based associate solitary reporter and Denver Republican Party Chair Eddie Cook, Broncos fans of both major political parties were quick to blame their respective senators (Republicans, Cory Gardner; Democrats, presidential candidate and senior Senator Michael Bennet) for not providing sufficient subsidies to America’s favorite blood sport.


In all the melee surrounding the Broncos’ loss, one aspect of political news was lost on the crowd of 76,125.


Speaking of blood sports, Politico’s Darren Samuelson and Quint Forgey have told us that portentous Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell might just pull another Merrick Garland: “How Mitch McConnell Could Give Impeachment the Merrick Garland Treatment” (https://www.politico.com/news/2019/09/28/mitch-mcconnell-trump-impeachment-007689).


Samuelson and Forgey say that McConnell — whose visage most closely resembles that of a turtle, and who knows full well that his political buddy Donald Trump will be impeached by the House —  could decide not to hold an impeachment trial at all — just as he nixed President Obama’s nomination of the eminently moderate Judge Merrick Garland to succeed the late and ungreat Justice Antonin Scalia.


Associate solitary reporter Johanna Jones, who is with Trump 24/7, has gotten very little sleep recently because of the Trump-Zelensky Scandal and the feverish tumult among the White House staff, but she took a few minutes off to ask our chief Congressional correspondent, associate solitary reporter Melissa Smith, to confront McConnell about the Politico article and its doomsday prediction.


“Oh sure, Johanna," Smith said. “I did talk to Mitch, and he said he actually planted the idea for that Politico article just to distract the Democrats and, as well, to fire up his weak base in Kentucky.”


“Mitch also said that he had persuaded both Ted Cruz and Cory Gardner to go along with it.”


“Mitch was also very emphatic that he needs to give Cory Gardner lots of cover since he’s the most endangered Republican senator next year. If Cory has to vote to keep Trump in office, he’ll get only about ten votes in Colorado."