Trump Grants Political Asylum to Boris Johnson

The Supreme Court of the United Kingdom has handed PM Boris Johnson a stern rebuke.


The UK’s Proroguer-in-Chief unlawfully upended the UK’s constitutional monarchy by cancelling Parliament, the Court ruled.


This, after associate solitary reporter Danielle Packwood reported that in his haste to leave the EU in the worst possible fashion, Johnson had ordered the Chunnel between England and France to be permanently severed.


As Johnson huddled with Donald Trumjp at the United Nations this morning, Johnson said, “Donald, the US came to our aid in two world wars, and that was a graet blessing for us. Now I need your help, as I have been told by my Conservative Party colleagues that they are on the verge of impeaching me,” all this as reported to us by associatei solitary reporter Johanna Jones.


Trump’s response was anything but indecisive. “No problem, Boris, I am granting you political asylum, and here are your keys to your own private penthouse in Trump Tower.”


Johnson thanked Trump profusely, and announced that he is looking forward to taking over Trump’s Citizenship and Immigration Services Office from Acting Director Ken Cuccinelli.