Trump Awaits Instructions from Saudi Crown Prince, Tells Bibi Not to Worry

Voters in Israel go to the polls today as PM Benjamin Netanyahu, under investigation for corruption, desperately seeks to cling to power.


It’s a close race, but, according to our chief investigative reporter, associate solitary reporter Susanna Sherman, even if Netanyahu loses, Trump’s got his back.


Sherman is a Democratic Party mole embedded in the National Security Agency, which is why she was listening in on the conversation, held only five minutes ago, between the two autocrats.


“Donald,” Netanyahu began, “looks like I may not make it. I need your help.”


“Bibi, no worries there, I’ve got your back. If they toss you out, I’ll send in all my Seal Team Six guys and lock up all your opponents!”


“After all, Bibi, when you named that part of the Golan after me, you know I’ll do anything for you!”


Netanyahu briskly thanked Trump and told his close personal friends at AIPAC that he’ll be at their plenary meeting next week to tell them that it’s their patriotic duty to get every AIPAC member to mobilize for Trump in 2020.


Next, Trump turned his unfull attention to the tweetstorm he caused on Sunday by telling Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman that he’s “locked and loaded” and ready to attack Iran after two major Saudi oil fields were crippled by drone attacks.


Sherman, fully aware that Mike Pence’s Chief of Staff, Marc Short, had explained away Trump’s “locked and loaded” comment to mean, not that a military attack is imminent, but that America is independent of all foreign oil imports (see Cillizza’s opinion piece at  texted us to tell us that the next time Trump changes his mind, Iran is doomed.