Boris Johnson Joins Far-Right German Political Party; Falwell Junior Is Excommunicated

Zealously pro-Brexit Boris Johnson doesn’t believe in democracy.


He’s cancelled Parliament, hoping to con the British people into giving him the majority in Parliament he just lost, but only if he can convince two-thirds of Parliament to let him call a snap election.


He says he’d rather die in a ditch than go to Brussels to ask the EU for yet another extension for Brexit.


So we spoke with Labour MP Danielle Packwood, our London-based associate solitary reporter, who represents Vauxhall, and asked her to have a top-secret meeting with Johnson, similar to Donald Trump’s hastily planned Camp David secret meeting with the Taliban.


Johnson, who hasn’t the faintest idea how to present the birds nest on top of his head to the public, can’t get anything through Parliament (


A mere five minutes ago, Boris told ASR Packwood that he’s leaving his Conservative Party to join the Alternative fur Deutschland (the AfD, or Alternative for Germany), a far-right political party founded in 2013.


Alexander Eberhardt Gauland, one of the leaders of the AfD, told our assocaite solitary reporter and chief international correspondent, Larry Theis, that his Alternative fur Deutschland was founded to continue in the great tradition of Adolf Hitler.


Wir freuen uns sehr, dass sich Bruder Boris fur unseren Verein entschieden hat AfD anzuschliesen, so konnen wir in der grossen Tradition von Fuhrer Hitler fortfahren“ ("We are thrilled that Brother Boris has decided to join our AfD so we can continue in the great tradition of Fuhrer Hitler”), Herr Gauland said, with AfD leader Jorg Hubert Meuthen at his side.


As ASR Packwood watched with fascination, Johnson left 10 Downing Street in an AgustaWestland AW179 Wildcat, the UK’s finest helicopter, for the Schloss Bellevue in Berlin, where he was received in glee by German President Frank-Walter Steinmeier.


In other news, the Southern Baptists have excommunicated Jerry Falwell Jr., the president of Liberty University, after several of his aides at his far-right fundamentalist Christian university told Politico reporter Jack Shafer about how Liberty University is more of a real estate company than a school (


Falwell Jr.’s father was Jerry Falwell Sr., the founder of the Moral Majority, who conflated his version of Christian morality with being a Republican.


Falwell Jr. was instrumental in Trump’s loss to Hillary Clinton in the 2016 popular vote.


In 2015, when Sen. Ted Cruz (TP-Texas) launched his campaign to succeed President Obama, he did it at Falwell Jr.’s Liberty University. He was introduced by Falwell Jr.


Falwell Jr. was defrocked by Rev. James David Greear, the president of the Southern Baptist Convention, in the Thomas Road Baptist Church in Lynchburg.