Carrie Lam Begs Trump to Annex Hong Kong

Donald Trump’s foreign policy, to the extent there is any, supports the autonomy of Hong Kong against continuing Chinese interference.


The situation of Hong Kong’s Chief Executive, Carrie Lam, is extremely tenuous, as pro-democracy protestors have shut down the international airport, one of the world’s busiest. The protestors insist that she resign, but she’s come up with a better idea, which she revealed in an exclusive interview with our East Asia correspondent, associate solitary reporter Ko Il-sun.


“Mr. Ko, the United States stands for freedom and against Communism, which is why I have just gotten off the phone with Mr. Trump and Mr. Pompeo.”


“I asked them, first, to grant me political asylum (to which they immediately agreed) and then I asked them to occupy my once-autonomous Territory and, after the US military repulses Xi Jingping’s People’s Liberation Army, I want Trump to annex us. Then I’ll be able to preside over the creation of the United States’ 51st State.”


ASR Ko texted ASR Johanna Jones at the White House to inform her of Lam’s Grand Slam Plan. 


Trump was very pleased, as he has been telling his sycophantic supporters at his rallies that he has lost billions by holding the job that he pretends to have now. “I’ll just tap in to all that Hong Kong wealth,” he told Jones.