Barr Is Appalling; Queen to Tell Johnson to Take Back Hong Kong

Donald Trump’s personal attorney, William Barr, is appalled by the fact that his Bureau of Prisons did not impose a suicide watch on serial sexual offender Jeffrey Epstein in Manhattan.


But we here at AP are appalled at Barr. For one thing, he’s ramping up the death penalty for prisoners convicted of capital federal crimes.


For another thing, we are appalled by how easy Epstein got off when Trump’s former Labor Secretary, Alex Acosta, pretended to prosecute him for sex crimes when he was United States Attorney in southern Florida.


And for several other things, such as how Barr and Trump don’t know nothin’ about how to stop assault weapons from proliferating all across our land. 


Associate solitary reporter Keith Coleman, who lives within three stones’ throws of Barr’s office, is keeping close tabs on Barr. Expect more from ASR Coleman in coming days.


The Brits did a really good job of promoting addiction to opioids to thousand of people in southern China, and it took them two wars to do it, and then they got Hong Kong as a Crown Colony.


Associate solitary reporter Danielle Packwood, a staunch member of Labour, had an audience with Queen Elizabeth II today in Buckingham Palace.


“Danielle,” the Queen began, “first, I would like you to know that I am very displeased with that very boorish man, Boris Johnson.”


“Yes, Ma’am.”


“Next, Danielle, I would like you to tell Jeremy Corbyn that I am very displeased by what is happening in what used to be my colony, Hong Kong, which means “fragrant harbor” — because the Chinese Communists, who know nothing about democracy, are really clamping down there under their puppet, Carrie Lam, and the airport was closed today because of protests. That produced a very bad aroma there."


“I will instruct Mr. Johnson to take all reasonable steps to bring Hong Kong and, in particular, Kowloon, where the international airport is, back under my rule.”


“Yes, Ma’m, I will tell Mr. Corbyn that.”


Packwood curtseyed and, following protocl (Packwood is a very proper British subject) walked backward from the royal presence.