Kim Darroch's Next Move

Yesterday, we reported on the dilemma faced by UK Foreign Secretary Kim Darroch (https://www.apocryphalpress.com/2019/07/09/why-theresa-may-supports-jeremy-hunt-to-succeed-her-as-leader-of-the-conservative-party/).

 

Then this morning we learned that Sir Kim has resigned and that his resignation has been accepted (https://www.cnn.com/2019/07/10/uk/uk-ambassador-kim-darroch-resigns-intl-gbr/index.html).

 

All this means that our London-based associate solitary reporter, Danielle Packwood, hasn’t had more than five minutes of real sleep.

 

Packwood met Darroch’s plane at 4 am London time so she could have an exclusive interview with him.

 

“Sir Kim, your innermost feelings about being forced to resign?”

 

“Danielle, won’t you please join me in a glorious duet as together we sing the most wonderful patiotic song ever composed?”

 

Packwood’s soprano voice easily overpowered Darroch’s as they sang Rule Britannia!:

 

When Britain fi-i-irst, at heaven's command,

Aro-o-o-o-ose from out the a-a-a-zure main,

Arose, arose from out the azure main,

This was the charter, the charter of the land,

And guardian a-a-angels sang this strain:

Rule Britannia!

Britannia rule the waves

Britons never, never, never shall be slaves.

Rule Britannia!

Britannia rule the waves.

Britons never, never, never shall be slaves.

Still more maje-e-estic shalt thou rise,

More dre-e-e-e-eadful from each foreign stroke,

More dreadful, dreadful from each foreign stroke,

Loud blast above us, loud blast that tears the skies

Serves but to ro-o-o-ot thy native oak.

Rule Britannia!

Britannia rule the waves.

Britons never, never, never shall be slaves.

Rule Britannia!

Britannia rule the waves.

Britons never, never, never shall be slaves.

 

Packwood immediately teared up as Darroch whispered into her left ear, saying “Danielle, I am so proud to have been a devoted slave to the Queen and to the time-tested principles of diplomatic integrity!”

 

“Dear Sir Kim, what will you do next?”

 

“Danielle, you can’t tell anyone, but I’m going straight to Boris Johnson’s campaign office and I’m going to tell him I’m about to go on national television and tell everyone in the Conservative Party that if their Party makes Boris their next leader, all will be lost."