Trump's New Press Secretary Files Workers Compensation Claim Against Kim Jong-un

Donald Trump is impetuous, and if he didn’t have TV cameras pointed at him at all times, he would pout and scream.

 

He went to Osaka for the G-20 meeting, where he insulted Prime Minister Abe Shinzo by complaining that Abe needs to pay him lots more money for stationing American forces in Japan; huddled with his close personal friend Vladimir Putin; met with his trade war enemy Xi Jinping, and was feted in Seoul by South Korean President Moon Jae-in in the Blue House, which is the South Korean version of the White House.

 

Given that he loves Kim Jong-un, at the last minute he insisted on doing a photo-op at the very heavily fortified DMZ with North Korea's SuperDictator. The two of them love to swagger and embrace each other, but Trump is very envious of Kim’s total control of his rogue nation. Kim never has to worry about a court telling him he can’t do something that he’s not allowed to do.

 

In steps new Press Secretary Stephanie Grisham.

 

Grisham was Deputy Press Secretary under then White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer. She is no stranger to controversy. The Office of Special Counsel (not Mueller) says she violated the Hatch Act by using her official Twitter account on July 11, 2018, to tweet out Trump’s campaign slogan (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stephanie_Grisham).

 

At the DMZ, Grisham got into a scuffle with several of Kim’s handlers, during which she sustained injuries (https://www.cnn.com/2019/06/30/politics/stephanie-grisham-north-korea-scuffle/index.html).

 

Trump’s publicity stunt with Kim was witnessed by reporters from around the world, especially our associate solitary reporter Ko Il-sun, who is based in Seoul but who also spends considerable time at the DMZ.

 

With the essential cooperation of associate solitary reporter Johanna Jones, Ko spoke with Grisham early this morning.

 

“Il-sun,” Grisham began, “I have filed a workers compensation claim against Kim Jong-un. Without anybody here in Mr. Trump’s entourage noticing, whle I was still at the DMZ, I went directly to Kim’s Minister of Labor, Yun Kang-ho, and demanded that he compensate me under Kim’s Workers’ Paradise Workers Compensation Law for my permanent and total disability."

 

“That’s when Minister Yun told several of his underlings to send me directly to the Kaechon Concentration Camp for political prisoners, but nobody messes with me, so I slugged him in the nose, got into a US Special Forces helicopter, and, in the twinkling of an eye, I was back with Mr Trump, under his Benevolent Protectoin, ready to do battle with anybody who disses with him, in the grand tradition of Sarah Huckabee Sanders."